No way, not taking a roundhouse to the dome!

Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.

Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.

Chuck Norris doesit with Christy Brinkley on a Nordic Track.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

A cobra bit Chuck once, after five days of excruciating agony the snake died.

A dinosaur once thought of eating Chuck Norris. The round-house kick to the face is now commonly mistaken for the comet that hit the Earth.

They called it a Chucknorrisaurus

Chuck was once pulled over for speeding. He let the officer go with a warning

At night, the boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman's life.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norrisisms...love em.

Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so.

I have his wife's cell phone number (assuming it is the same as several years ago). That's all I'll say. Love the Carlos!

It's not a stuffed bear in his den. The bear is just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris doesn't do Push-Ups...he pushes the world down.

Saw him about 20 years ago at the Pizza Hut in Navasota right down the road from his ranch. This was when Walker Texas Ranger was the most popular show on television. He came inside, ordered a small pan pizza, a pitcher of soda, and had supper.

I wanted to say hello but then I thought Navasota is where he goes to relax and not be bothered, so my buddy and I finished our pizza and left.

That Pizza Hut is now a funeral home. Only in Navasota would they turn a Pizza Hut into a funeral home .

Just my .02,
LeonCarr

Chuck Norris drove his mom to the hospital the day she gave birth to him.

When Chuck Norris swims he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norissed.

Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity....twice.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

You can say that again. Chuck Norris can make memory foam forget

I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him.

movie cameras can make a man look like Miss America.

Chuck Norris fought as a middleweight. I doubt he is 6' and 200. He's always been known to wear those stacked heal boots to make him appear taller.

There is a family just North of Trinidad that the old man is wanted by the law. He stays on the property at all times. Local law didn't want to turn the thing into a Ruby Ridge or Waco deal, so the law just lets them be. Somehow CN thought he might be of help. Flew down in a helo to try and coax the man out.They were not impressed. Still there.

Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Its now known as the Islands.