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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: Guy]
#7720396
01/17/20 04:11 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,154
KWood_TSU
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,154 |
Met him at his ranch. Nice guy, weird when he introduced himself since you know exactly who he is lol. And as someone else said, very short and small, was quite surprised. Are you saying you could kick his asss? No way, not taking a roundhouse to the dome!
Amat Victoria Curam - Victory Loves Preparation
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720404
01/17/20 04:17 AM
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 14,141
glens
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 14,141 |
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720411
01/17/20 04:26 AM
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240
Erny
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240 |
Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720413
01/17/20 04:28 AM
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240
Erny
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240 |
Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720416
01/17/20 04:43 AM
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 33,946
Buzzsaw
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 33,946 |
Chuck Norris doesit with Christy Brinkley on a Nordic Track.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720418
01/17/20 04:48 AM
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 28,015
skinnerback
THF Celebrity Chef
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THF Celebrity Chef
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 28,015 |
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720467
01/17/20 11:43 AM
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 6,113
soooo
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 6,113 |
A cobra bit Chuck once, after five days of excruciating agony the snake died.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720486
01/17/20 12:37 PM
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,591
decook
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,591 |
A dinosaur once thought of eating Chuck Norris. The round-house kick to the face is now commonly mistaken for the comet that hit the Earth.
Press for an AMERICAN.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: Guy]
#7720574
01/17/20 02:29 PM
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,805
Big_Country01
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,805 |
Dinosaurs are extinct because Chuck Norris killed them all. They called it a Chucknorrisaurus
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720580
01/17/20 02:34 PM
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,805
Big_Country01
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,805 |
Chuck was once pulled over for speeding. He let the officer go with a warning
At night, the boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman's life.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720587
01/17/20 02:42 PM
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 15,693
603Country
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 15,693 |
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.
Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so.
Not my monkeys, not my circus...
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720677
01/17/20 03:48 PM
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,463
bassfishinglawyer
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,463 |
I have his wife's cell phone number (assuming it is the same as several years ago). That's all I'll say. Love the Carlos!
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720691
01/17/20 03:54 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
It's not a stuffed bear in his den. The bear is just afraid to move.
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720694
01/17/20 03:55 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,640
LeonCarr
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,640 |
Chuck Norris doesn't do Push-Ups...he pushes the world down. Saw him about 20 years ago at the Pizza Hut in Navasota right down the road from his ranch. This was when Walker Texas Ranger was the most popular show on television. He came inside, ordered a small pan pizza, a pitcher of soda, and had supper. I wanted to say hello but then I thought Navasota is where he goes to relax and not be bothered, so my buddy and I finished our pizza and left. That Pizza Hut is now a funeral home. Only in Navasota would they turn a Pizza Hut into a funeral home . Just my .02, LeonCarr
"Whitetail Deer are extinct because of rifles with telescopes mounted on them." - My 11th Grade English Teacher
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: LeonCarr]
#7720824
01/17/20 06:01 PM
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,694
mbavo
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,694 |
Chuck Norris drove his mom to the hospital the day she gave birth to him.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720886
01/17/20 06:43 PM
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240
Erny
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240 |
When Chuck Norris swims he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norissed.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720889
01/17/20 06:45 PM
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240
Erny
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240 |
Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7720893
01/17/20 06:47 PM
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240
Erny
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,240 |
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity....twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: Erny]
#7720894
01/17/20 06:47 PM
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 12,755
Paluxy
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 12,755 |
Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not. You can say that again. Chuck Norris can make memory foam forget
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: 603Country]
#7720906
01/17/20 06:55 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,154
KWood_TSU
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 9,154 |
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.
Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so. I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him.
Amat Victoria Curam - Victory Loves Preparation
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: KWood_TSU]
#7720912
01/17/20 07:00 PM
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,763
Tin Head
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,763 |
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.
Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so. I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him. movie cameras can make a man look like Miss America.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: KWood_TSU]
#7720953
01/17/20 07:52 PM
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,038
jetdad
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,038 |
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.
Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so. I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him. Chuck Norris fought as a middleweight. I doubt he is 6' and 200. He's always been known to wear those stacked heal boots to make him appear taller.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7721026
01/17/20 09:40 PM
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,069
Cool Mo D
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,069 |
There is a family just North of Trinidad that the old man is wanted by the law. He stays on the property at all times. Local law didn't want to turn the thing into a Ruby Ridge or Waco deal, so the law just lets them be. Somehow CN thought he might be of help. Flew down in a helo to try and coax the man out.They were not impressed. Still there.
Last edited by Cool Mo D; 01/17/20 09:41 PM.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7721094
01/17/20 10:41 PM
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 12,104
ntxtrapper
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 12,104 |
Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.
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Re: Chuck Norris
[Re: bill oxner]
#7721097
01/17/20 10:42 PM
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,763
Tin Head
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,763 |
Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Its now known as the Islands.
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