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Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Guy] #7720396 01/17/20 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Guy
Originally Posted by KWood_TSU
Met him at his ranch. Nice guy, weird when he introduced himself since you know exactly who he is lol.
And as someone else said, very short and small, was quite surprised.

Are you saying you could kick his asss?



No way, not taking a roundhouse to the dome!


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Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720404 01/17/20 04:17 AM
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Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720411 01/17/20 04:26 AM
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Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720413 01/17/20 04:28 AM
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Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720416 01/17/20 04:43 AM
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Chuck Norris doesit with Christy Brinkley on a Nordic Track.


"some people say I got a drinkin problem........I got no problem drinkin at all......."


Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720418 01/17/20 04:48 AM
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720467 01/17/20 11:43 AM
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A cobra bit Chuck once, after five days of excruciating agony the snake died.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720486 01/17/20 12:37 PM
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A dinosaur once thought of eating Chuck Norris. The round-house kick to the face is now commonly mistaken for the comet that hit the Earth.


Press for an AMERICAN.
Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Guy] #7720574 01/17/20 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Guy
Dinosaurs are extinct because Chuck Norris killed them all.



They called it a Chucknorrisaurus


Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720580 01/17/20 02:34 PM
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Chuck was once pulled over for speeding. He let the officer go with a warning

At night, the boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman's life.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.


Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720587 01/17/20 02:42 PM
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Chuck Norrisisms...love em.

Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so.


Not my monkeys, not my circus...
Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720677 01/17/20 03:48 PM
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I have his wife's cell phone number (assuming it is the same as several years ago). That's all I'll say. Love the Carlos!

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720691 01/17/20 03:54 PM
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It's not a stuffed bear in his den. The bear is just afraid to move.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


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Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720694 01/17/20 03:55 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Push-Ups...he pushes the world down.

Saw him about 20 years ago at the Pizza Hut in Navasota right down the road from his ranch. This was when Walker Texas Ranger was the most popular show on television. He came inside, ordered a small pan pizza, a pitcher of soda, and had supper.

I wanted to say hello but then I thought Navasota is where he goes to relax and not be bothered, so my buddy and I finished our pizza and left.

That Pizza Hut is now a funeral home. Only in Navasota would they turn a Pizza Hut into a funeral home smile.

Just my .02,
LeonCarr


"Whitetail Deer are extinct because of rifles with telescopes mounted on them." - My 11th Grade English Teacher
Re: Chuck Norris [Re: LeonCarr] #7720824 01/17/20 06:01 PM
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Chuck Norris drove his mom to the hospital the day she gave birth to him.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720886 01/17/20 06:43 PM
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When Chuck Norris swims he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norissed.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720889 01/17/20 06:45 PM
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Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7720893 01/17/20 06:47 PM
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity....twice.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Erny] #7720894 01/17/20 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Erny
Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.


You can say that again. Chuck Norris can make memory foam forget

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: 603Country] #7720906 01/17/20 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by 603Country
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.

Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so.


I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him.


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Re: Chuck Norris [Re: KWood_TSU] #7720912 01/17/20 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by KWood_TSU
Originally Posted by 603Country
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.

Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so.


I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him.

movie cameras can make a man look like Miss America. roflmao


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Re: Chuck Norris [Re: KWood_TSU] #7720953 01/17/20 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by KWood_TSU
Originally Posted by 603Country
Chuck Norrisisms...love em.

Met him once in Houston. I was leaning on my umbrella, cause it wasn’t raining, and here he came down the sidewalk. He stopped and introduced himself (as if I didn’t know whose he was). He was real nice. We visited for 10 minutes or so. I didn’t check his boots to see if they boosted his height, but I remember thinking that he was just about my size (at that time), which was 6’ and 205# or so.


I'm 6' and dwarfed him I felt like. He was in sweats and flip flops too when i saw him.


Chuck Norris fought as a middleweight. I doubt he is 6' and 200. He's always been known to wear those stacked heal boots to make him appear taller.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7721026 01/17/20 09:40 PM
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There is a family just North of Trinidad that the old man is wanted by the law. He stays on the property at all times. Local law didn't want to turn the thing into a Ruby Ridge or Waco deal, so the law just lets them be. Somehow CN thought he might be of help. Flew down in a helo to try and coax the man out.They were not impressed. Still there.

Last edited by Cool Mo D; 01/17/20 09:41 PM.
Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7721094 01/17/20 10:41 PM
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Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bill oxner] #7721097 01/17/20 10:42 PM
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Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Its now known as the Islands.


[Linked Image]Justice. It's time to wake up. These people are sick. SAVE THE KIDS
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