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Breaking Wind
#7592759
08/29/19 01:01 PM
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,405
Bass&More
OP
Veteran Tracker
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OP
Veteran Tracker
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,405 |
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7592852
08/29/19 02:48 PM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458
redhaze
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458 |
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7592990
08/29/19 05:20 PM
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Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,125
TCM3
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,125 |
Do not forget to entertain strangers, For by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels Hebrews 13:2 (R-TX)
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7593072
08/29/19 06:43 PM
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 9,969
Old Rabbit
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 9,969 |
Made me laugh out loud
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: TCM3]
#7593297
08/29/19 10:27 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,518
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,518 |
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594083
08/30/19 06:38 PM
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,451
Dalroo
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,451 |
Dalroo Deep in the Heart of Texas How about that Brandon!
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594124
08/30/19 07:38 PM
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,096
Cajun Raider
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,096 |
Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594352
08/31/19 12:05 AM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708
pigplinker
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708 |
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594461
08/31/19 02:35 AM
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 11,233
Pope&Young
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 11,233 |
I bet he was when trying to get that neck back in there
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594466
08/31/19 02:41 AM
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,952
LFD2037
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,952 |
Funny!!! Nasty..........but funny!
R.I.P. CPO Matt Mills-(DEVGRU)- You will NEVER be forgotten! 10-25-75 / 8-6-11 *K.I.A.*
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594541
08/31/19 11:57 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,854
Stub
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,854 |
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594764
08/31/19 06:22 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 19,241
TEXASLEFTY
THF Whiskey Sommelier
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THF Whiskey Sommelier
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 19,241 |
Never been to a camping world. I prefer Dick's to be honest.
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7594769
08/31/19 06:29 PM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,170
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
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The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,170 |
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7595097
09/01/19 02:27 AM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 550
Rglover
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 550 |
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7598668
09/05/19 02:21 PM
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,657
colt45-90
Texas colt45
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Texas colt45
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,657 |
hold on Newt, we got a runaway
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Re: Breaking Wind
[Re: Bass&More]
#7608408
09/17/19 12:10 AM
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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 855
FWFish
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 855 |
FUNNY!!!
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