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Breaking Wind #7592759 08/29/19 01:01 PM
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Bass&More Offline OP
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”

wifepeep

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7592811 08/29/19 02:12 PM
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scared wtf

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7592852 08/29/19 02:48 PM
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laugh

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7592990 08/29/19 05:20 PM
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rofl rofl clap


[Linked Image] [Linked Image]
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7593072 08/29/19 06:43 PM
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Made me laugh out loud cheers

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: TCM3] #7593297 08/29/19 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted by TCM3
rofl rofl clap


Originally Posted by Sneaky
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable dickhead
Originally Posted by beaversnipe
Actually, BBC is pretty damn good

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7593604 08/30/19 04:27 AM
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Threw up a little bit in my mouth but it was still funny

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594083 08/30/19 06:38 PM
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flush


Dalroo
Deep in the Heart of Texas
No matter where you go, there you are...
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594124 08/30/19 07:38 PM
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clap


Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594352 08/31/19 12:05 AM
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eeks333 rofl

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594461 08/31/19 02:35 AM
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rofl I bet he was cyclo when trying to get that neck back in there


Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594466 08/31/19 02:41 AM
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Funny!!! Nasty..........but funny!


R.I.P. CPO Matt Mills-(DEVGRU)- You will NEVER be forgotten!
10-25-75 / 8-6-11 *K.I.A.*
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594541 08/31/19 11:57 AM
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flush eeks333 roflmao


texas flag

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594764 08/31/19 06:22 PM
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That’s funny!


Originally Posted By: Chunky Monkey
Never been to a camping world. I prefer Dick's to be honest.
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594769 08/31/19 06:29 PM
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rofl


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Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7595097 09/01/19 02:27 AM
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banana

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7598668 09/05/19 02:21 PM
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hold on Newt, we got a runaway
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7608408 09/17/19 12:10 AM
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FUNNY!!! banana

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