texashuntingforum.com logo
Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
pinehouse, lacramioara, PF1966, carr, BigSpin
70161 Registered Users
Top Posters(All Time)
dogcatcher 110,536
bill oxner 91,416
SnakeWrangler 63,593
stxranchman 59,968
Gravytrain 46,950
RKHarm24 44,585
rifleman 44,461
BMD 41,241
Forum Statistics
Forums46
Topics609,301
Posts11,320,578
Members85,161
Most Online19,184
Feb 5th, 2020
Print Thread
Breaking Wind #7592759 08/29/19 01:01 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,334
B
Bass&More Offline OP
Veteran Tracker
OP Offline
Veteran Tracker
B
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,334

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”

wifepeep

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7592811 08/29/19 02:12 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 889
sleepyhunter Online Content
Tracker
Online Content
Tracker
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 889
scared wtf

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7592852 08/29/19 02:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,276
R
redhaze Offline
Veteran Tracker
Offline
Veteran Tracker
R
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,276
laugh

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7592990 08/29/19 05:20 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 15,751
TCM3 Online Content
THF Celebrity
Online Content
THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 15,751
rofl rofl clap


"Why gain the whole world and forfeit your own soul?”
[Linked Image]
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7593072 08/29/19 06:43 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 8,912
O
Old Rabbit Online Content
THF Trophy Hunter
Online Content
THF Trophy Hunter
O
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 8,912
Made me laugh out loud cheers

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: TCM3] #7593297 08/29/19 10:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 63,593
S
SnakeWrangler Offline
THF Celebrity
Offline
THF Celebrity
S
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 63,593
Originally Posted by TCM3
rofl rofl clap


Originally Posted by Sneaky
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable dickhead
Originally Posted by beaversnipe
Actually, BBC is pretty damn good

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7593604 08/30/19 04:27 AM
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 81
B
Breath-Taker Whitetails Offline
Outdoorsman
Offline
Outdoorsman
B
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 81
Threw up a little bit in my mouth but it was still funny

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594083 08/30/19 06:38 PM
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,266
D
Dalroo Online Content
Veteran Tracker
Online Content
Veteran Tracker
D
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,266
flush


Dalroo
Deep in the Heart of Texas
LGB
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594124 08/30/19 07:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,096
C
Cajun Raider Offline
Pro Tracker
Offline
Pro Tracker
C
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,096
clap


Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594352 08/31/19 12:05 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,551
P
pigplinker Offline
Veteran Tracker
Offline
Veteran Tracker
P
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,551
eeks333 rofl

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594461 08/31/19 02:35 AM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,062
P
Pope&Young Online Content
THF Celebrity
Online Content
THF Celebrity
P
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,062
rofl I bet he was cyclo when trying to get that neck back in there


Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594466 08/31/19 02:41 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,952
L
LFD2037 Offline
THF Trophy Hunter
Offline
THF Trophy Hunter
L
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,952
Funny!!! Nasty..........but funny!


R.I.P. CPO Matt Mills-(DEVGRU)- You will NEVER be forgotten!
10-25-75 / 8-6-11 *K.I.A.*
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594541 08/31/19 11:57 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 39,314
S
Stub Online Happy
THF Celebrity
Online Happy
THF Celebrity
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 39,314
flush eeks333 roflmao


texas flag

Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears.
Rumor and lies are created by haters, spread by fools, and unfortunately believed by the naïve!






Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594764 08/31/19 06:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 18,261
T
TEXASLEFTY Online Content
THF Whiskey Sommelier
Online Content
THF Whiskey Sommelier
T
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 18,261
That’s funny!


Originally Posted by Chunky Monkey
Never been to a camping world. I prefer Dick's to be honest.
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7594769 08/31/19 06:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 21,847
HoneyBeez Online Happy
The Beedazzler
Online Happy
The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 21,847
rofl


[Linked Image]
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7595097 09/01/19 02:27 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 429
R
Rglover Offline
Bird Dog
Offline
Bird Dog
R
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 429
banana

Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7598668 09/05/19 02:21 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,397
C
colt45 Offline
THF Celebrity
Offline
THF Celebrity
C
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,397
lol35


hold on Newt, we got a runaway
Re: Breaking Wind [Re: Bass&More] #7608408 09/17/19 12:10 AM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 690
F
FWFish Online Content
Tracker
Online Content
Tracker
F
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 690
FUNNY!!! banana

Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

© 2004-2022 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.3