The discussion of infidelity got me to thinking how a person can know the person they're thinking about marrying will be a true soulmate, someone with whom they can easily live with and trust as long as the two shall live.

IMO, a potential soulmate is someone who never falters in the slightest while you are dating them. They show absolutely no hint of having any second thoughts about how they feel about you and never put anyone before you in even the smallest matters. You might say they act as if they've been married to you for a lifetime already, even though the two of you have yet to walk the isle.

I threw my marriage license in the Trash.

Sad truth is most second marriages are more successful, because you don't learn how to identify a soulmate until after you picked the wrong one.

Is it that or you learn from the mistakes you made with the first one?

I don’t think we ever really know a person, we just think we do. So, finding your true soulmate, assuming that there is such a person, is pure luck.

The person you think you know during the good times, may become a different person when the hard times show up.

That may sound very negative, but I’ve seen it too many times to discount it. Luckily my wife and I (50 years) met and married during the hard times.

This place is becoming a regular Lonely Hearts Club.

I was a romantic kid, thinking there's one true soulmate out there and I thought I'd found her in high school. Wrong. Stupid kid.

'Fact is, if you're a true adult, and you give a little bit of time and effort in the dating game, not just "hooking up", you're gonna find 10, 15, or maybe even 20 (depending on how long you give it) people of the opposite sex that you, with a little luck, prayers, and perseverance can probably spend the rest of your life with. 'Not saying it's easy going, but it's doable.

Now, if you wanna play around in the upper stratosphere of the hot-crazy matrix, you're probably gonna get burned.

'Second wife just "clicked". After a lot of scary, and sometimes hilarious dating fiascos, this woman just made life easier, with seemingly very little effort. We've had some hum-dinger, knock-down drag-outs (figuratively), but we're still hanging in there 27 years later.

I believe you are wrong about this, data shows 2nd time around you are about 50% more likely to get divorced than 1st time.

If you're a stubborn idiot, I guess the odds could go up. But going through what I went through, and watching my daughters go through it, "compromise" had a WHOLE new meaning to me. I think that has helped.

It could be a combination of both.

I got married young. We met at 19 , My family or me didn’t have any money and her family had even less. When we moved in together they were all to happy to have her off their hands. It was kind of a survival type of deal. I kept a roof over our heads, she had a place to eat and stay and it was what it was. I caved to family pressure and “because it was the right thing to do” and got married at 22, even though neither of us really wanted to. Basically had a roommate type situation for the next 7 years until it finally came to a end. Although there was a feeling of responsibility towards this person, half the time I wished she would just go away, hated going to functions with her, etc. in part because of this, I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around either. It was just a bad match from the get go.

Unless you have been threw a divorce it’s hard to relate, but all kinds of things run thru your head. It was sort of an exciting time for me. Started hitting the bars pretty good and going out all the time. Not very long after I split with the ex I met my now wife, at 1:00 in the morning at a dancehall. We talked and it turns out she was going the same situation i was.

That was on a Friday and she came into town the next week and we met for lunch. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with her over the next hour. Had such a good time I left to go back to work but we ended up having dinner the same night. I think I asked her to marry me about a month later at 3:00 am in the drive thru at taco cabana. She probably thought I was joking but I was serious.

We are now married going on 4 years. Do we fight? Oh hell yeah we fight. But when you find someone you want to be with instead of a “well we will just get by “ attitude it all changes. 4 years in I’m still genuinely excited to come home and see her, we enjoy spending time with just us and we share similar interests. I’m not gonna lie and say it’s all homey and sunshine because with any relationships you are gonna have some rocky roads, with that comes self reflection and then making corrections where needed.

I’m one of the ones who can honestly say divorce was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

We make it a point not to talk about the relationship. Married once going on 27 years.

I guess I just got lucky.

A big problem is most have screwed up priorities.

I live a drama free life. I don't have to worry about my wife cheating and I know with 100% certainty we will be together as long as we both shall live.

What was different about her was that she always put me first, didn't play games and we genuinely just enjoy each other's company.

Sure we've had some drag outs but when you know divorce isn't an option you know you've got to work it out.

All I can say is thank god my wife didn't have this opinion while we were dating! She gave me multiple chances and lots of rope and I used them all plus some, she should have told me to hit the road. We'll hit 29 years this November and I consider myself one very lucky man and I remind her how fortunate she is I chose her.

I do believe we are soulmates.

Charlie

What kind of socks were you wearing when you met you wife?

They were cowboy boots, so probably just some ol' hunting socks. It was January, but musta been 80 degrees in that dancehall/bar. Still, some idjuts were strutting around in full dusters. 'Didn't see no horses tied out front though.

I still recall a very deep conversation I had with my dad when I decided to get married. He told me marriage wasn't a 50/50 relationship, it was 100/100, each person has to be wiling to give 100% all the time, sometimes you take 100%, sometimes you give 100%. Find that someone with those same core values and lives by them, should make for a life long relationship. Sometimes that giving 100% is biting the heck out of your lip.

run her credit, soulmates are generally 700+, but it's not an exact science...

start slow clap........now

We've been married 41 years today. There is no secret formula for a good marriage. You just stay together through thick and thin.

A buddy told me. When you go to a strip club and get a free lap dance you found your soul mate.

45 years this past January. .

Luck

42 years here.

This.