All you can do. I had a great friend that sat there with me, drank with me, and listened to me bitch and moan ad nauseum. I can never repay him. He'd been there (a much worse situation).

You are not taking issue with me. I just told you what the Bible says about it. Don’t get mad at me.

Be a friend but not mediator. He is asking you for advice because he trusts your judgement.

Well the bible also says "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery" So, once divorced you can never remarry.

If you are saying that God will not forgive a divorce outside of those two scenarios, you need to go back and re-read your Bible. Christ’s blood covers every sin but not accepting Him. Thus, those sins can be forgiven upon asking and repentance.

Which is kinda the point of the entire New Testament/Jesus’ sacrifice for us.

I know what I would do but that's not necessarily what needs to be conveyed to your friend. As mentioned, be his confidant and sounding board only, he has to make his own decisions and be content in them....

Yes, I should have said also, stay out of it. I was just telling what I would do, doesn't mean it's right or wrong and doesn't mean it's what he should do. He will have to do his own thing here.

I think this is the right decision, but you can still be there for him when he needs to talk or drink a beer.

There is no advise to give. Pray for them, support him however you can. He has a tough decision to make that is going to affect a lot of other people, and only he can make it.

Stay out of it, just be a friend like others have said. What others have not said:

She cheated. Morally. Maybe [not?] physically. She needs to go. There are woman that will not cheat morally or physically. Don't waste time on a cheat.

X2 might as well end it now or it will drag out and just get worse. Talking from experience

This is one of the key questions.

If they don't have kids, she needs to be super duper hot and fun to boot. Otherwise good bye. If they have kids that's sad, I would stay together until they are over 18 personally if he could stand it.

But the best advice was probably stay out of it.

Just one slice out of an entire loaf? You'll never notice

Too soon.

Sounds exactly like my situation almost 20 years ago and she also swore nothing physical ever happened. If they don't have kids, he needs to get the hell outtta Dodge before they do. If she did this once, she's either done it before and not got caught, or she will do it again. Thankfully we didn't have kids so the divorce process was pretty simple. It wasn't easy, but in the end, it was the best thing I have ever done. If they have kids, this is a much harder discussion. He needs to understand going into the divorce that the family court system will side with her every step of the way and he's going to have to fight for every inch of ground.

My ex also had a different "old friend from high school" that came along after the first guy but before we got divorced. Let's just say Karma is a B!@#$. He turned out to be a bum that spent her money and laid around on her couch. About four months after we got divorced, she called me to tell me she was pregnant with his kid. After picking myself up off the floor where I fell over from laughing, I realized how big of a bullet I dodged and how good my life was compared to the year before.

Relatively normal is, well, relative.

People can put on fronts to maintain appearances, but I personally don't believe that people can go thru that and then wipe the slate clean and be completely normal/functional as a couple.

Maybe if they were into drinking, drugs, etc. and then got saved as a couple and completely turned there lives around then I think that's likely possible, but for 98% of the couples where cheating has occurred, then no. It may not bother the non-cheater of the equation immediately, but after the dust settles and things blow over and return to more normal seas, then you will see anger emerge, resentments form, etc.


you basically have to tell your buddy this.....she wasn't drunk at a bar and met some random dude and got slammed in the bathroom at last call (which is not ok either ) but she had a full blown relationship with another person, and still came home at night and put on her Suzie Homemaker face and played everything like it was cool. Let it sink in for him what kind of person he is sharing a house and a life with.


I'm in the camp, if this is a good friend of yours, he needs to hear some truths. Just "staying out of it " is not what friends are for. If I'm effing up in life, I expect my friends to tell me so. If I need help with something and tell my friends about it, i'm not venting i'm asking for advice on what I should do.


This is why he is telling you, because he needs help making a decision.

I’d let the new guy take up payments on her. Sounds like a “Win, Win!”

Kick her to the curb, find a hot girlfriend and follow that anatomical pointer that always points men in the right direction. Cheaters rarely rehab. They only try to rehab because they were caught. People are either honest or they will lie/cheat. Life's too short to mess with skanks. Staying in a crappy marriage for the kids is toxic. A bad relationship is not good for children. You can't trust someone that's put it to you. Doubt will always remain, unless you're a cheater as well, then you're doomed anyway. Finding a life partner in today's world isn't easy. Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, be it spouse, kids, co-workers, whatever. Very tough, if not impossible to build a relationship without that foundation.

I don’t buy It. I barely trust a woman who hasn’t cheated yet and trust most men to respect another man’s woman even less. Hard to believe It was a one time thing.

A part of me believes a woman gets a little attention and runs with It.

Terrible world view I know.

What’s terrible is that it’s realistic

Honestly, all the talk guys (and women) do about how sorry their spouse (or ex) is or was is always kind of mystifying to me. I mean, they’re the ones that married them.

I’m not in any position to give advice since I don’t know the situation, but I do know most who cheat will cheat again. I’d guess trust can’t ever be re-gained in 98% of the cases.

Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. No coming back from it. I have never done it and never will. I have no desire to and people who do, must be wired differently than me. Anyone I'm with who does, is history to me.

Pack her bags for her and put them on the curb. Life’s too short to be treated like [censored] by the one you love. Hell, I’d even go as far as letting old boys wife know, after all, you would be giving them what they want, to be together. I have no sympathy for cheaters.

My cheating experience. I have been married 21 years and have not cheated on my wife.

When I was younger and Before I was married I had a nice girlfriend, which I cheated on. The first time I felt terrible guilt, felt very bad. Then I cheated again and again. Each time got easier Etc.

what I learned was if you start to cheat, it gets easier the more you do it and you do it until you are caught.