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 Another oldie but goodie
#7518618
05/23/19 09:35 PM
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047
mikei
OP
THF Trophy Hunter
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OP
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047 |
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural South Dakota. He shot a bird, but it fell into farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New York and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in South Dakota. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
I love this part:
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
Don't you just love old people!!!
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7518679
05/23/19 11:12 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,519
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,519 |
Lawyer, democrap, city boy,.....they all work.... 
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7518696
05/23/19 11:23 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,085
rjf1911
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,085 |
Last edited by rjf1911; 05/23/19 11:35 PM.
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7519033
05/24/19 12:59 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 550
Rglover
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 550 |
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7519202
05/24/19 04:13 PM
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 15,639
QuitShootinYoungBucks
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 15,639 |
Reminds me a lot of this one:
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land! No questions asked! Do you understand ?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... "Your badge, show him your BADGE!!"
![[Linked Image]](http://www.katiecortese.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/texas-tech-logo-2-150x150.jpg) https://web.archive.org/web/20170223065011/http:/www.rrdvegas.com/silencer-cleaning.html
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7519314
05/24/19 07:15 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,519
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,519 |
That's funny.....
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7519501
05/24/19 11:31 PM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,172
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
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The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,172 |
Both are true classics
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Re: Another oldie but goodie
[Re: mikei]
#7519604
05/25/19 02:16 AM
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,102
Espy
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,102 |
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