A man owned a ranch in Texas.
One day the labor department got a tip he wasn’t paying proper wages to his employees so they sent an investigator to find out what’s going on.
“Please tell me how many employees you have and how much you pay them”, the investigator asked the rancher.
The rancher replied, “my ranch hand has been with me 3 years and I pay him $1200 per week plus free room and board”. “The cook has been here a year and I pay him $1000 per week plus room and board”
“And there is a half-wit. He works 18 hours a day with no days off doing about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board, although I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally. “
The investigator said “that’s the guy I want to talk to!”
“You already are” replied the rancher.