Forums46
Topics537,970
Posts9,731,204
Members87,051
|
Most Online25,604 Feb 12th, 2024
|
|
|
3 bears; 3 chaplains
#7227305
07/17/18 08:00 PM
|
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047
mikei
OP
THF Trophy Hunter
|
OP
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047 |
A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. When I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist, spoke next. He had one arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD ! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. Just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He had broken arms and legs, was in a body cast and traction, with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227416
07/17/18 09:32 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,539
BayouGuy
Extreme Tracker
|
Extreme Tracker
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,539 |
If you can't laugh at yourself, give me a call. I'll gladly laugh at you. "I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi's and Chuck Schumer's point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my [censored]." Senator John Kennedy, Louisiana
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227420
07/17/18 09:35 PM
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,096
Cajun Raider
Pro Tracker
|
Pro Tracker
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,096 |
Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227436
07/17/18 09:56 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 29,130
TXHOGSLAYER
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 29,130 |
That made me laugh.
LETS GO BRANDON
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227819
07/18/18 02:41 AM
|
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 516
Gangly
Tracker
|
Tracker
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 516 |
That was good
Aaron
Do it right, do it once.
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227954
07/18/18 07:15 AM
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708
pigplinker
Veteran Tracker
|
Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708 |
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: TXHOGSLAYER]
#7227978
07/18/18 10:48 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,525
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,525 |
That made me laugh.
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227981
07/18/18 10:57 AM
|
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,593
decook
Extreme Tracker
|
Extreme Tracker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,593 |
Press for an AMERICAN.
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7227982
07/18/18 11:02 AM
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 19,246
TEXASLEFTY
THF Whiskey Sommelier
|
THF Whiskey Sommelier
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 19,246 |
Never been to a camping world. I prefer Dick's to be honest.
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: TEXASLEFTY]
#7228218
07/18/18 03:32 PM
|
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,177
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
|
The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,177 |
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7228260
07/18/18 04:10 PM
|
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,332
onlysmith&wesson
THF Trophy Hunter
|
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,332 |
An unethical shot is one you take, that you know you shouldn't.
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7228302
07/18/18 04:56 PM
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630
Cast
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630 |
Cast I have a short attention spa
|
|
|
Re: 3 bears; 3 chaplains
[Re: mikei]
#7233855
07/24/18 10:44 AM
|
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 705
Age N Score ?
Tracker
|
Tracker
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 705 |
I Feed Indian Corn. The deer love it and all the colors make them stay at the feeder longer.
|
|
|
Moderated by bigbob_ftw, CCBIRDDOGMAN, Chickenman, Derek, DeRico, Duck_Hunter, hetman, jeh7mmmag, JustWingem, kmon11, kry226, kwrhuntinglab, Payne, pertnear, rifleman, sig226fan (Rguns.com), Superduty, TreeBass, txcornhusker
|