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Feb 12th, 2024
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 More "You May Be a Redneck If"
#7134553
04/06/18 08:25 PM
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047
mikei
OP
THF Trophy Hunter
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OP
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047 |
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years
.4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6.The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
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Re: More "You May Be a Redneck If"
[Re: mikei]
#7134679
04/06/18 11:33 PM
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,768
HuntingTexas
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,768 |
" In God We Trust "
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Re: More "You May Be a Redneck If"
[Re: mikei]
#7134702
04/07/18 12:01 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,514
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,514 |
9 
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: More "You May Be a Redneck If"
[Re: mikei]
#7134853
04/07/18 02:16 AM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 4,002
68A
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 4,002 |
I may or may not know someone who is guilty of 17 and 25
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Re: More "You May Be a Redneck If"
[Re: mikei]
#7134878
04/07/18 02:49 AM
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,829
Lazyjack
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 5,829 |
18 for sure. Had a piece of chained hemed into it so wind wouldn't blow it.
If the 2nd amendment was written just to include guns for hunting, why is there not an amendment to protect fishing poles?
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Re: More "You May Be a Redneck If"
[Re: mikei]
#7134925
04/07/18 05:17 AM
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,033
missingAK
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,033 |
If you've ever made a phone call, from the toilet, while holding a shotgun...in case that dang possum comes back through the hole under the water heater.
True story. And it was my Step-mom.
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." Winston Churchill
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