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Mar 25th, 2012
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Banned from Walmart #7101983
03/05/18 09:55 PM
03/05/18 09:55 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 7,777
Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
P
PMK Offline OP
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PMK  Offline OP
THF Trophy Hunter
P

Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 7,777
Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the Staff passed out.


"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."

~PMK~
Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102039
03/05/18 10:53 PM
03/05/18 10:53 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,863
North Texas - God's Country
Cast Online happy
THF Celebrity
Cast  Online Happy
THF Celebrity

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,863
North Texas - God's Country
A-


Cast



I have a short attention spa
Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102206
03/06/18 01:20 AM
03/06/18 01:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,990
New Braunfels, San Saba county
W
Wilhunt Offline
Extreme Tracker
Wilhunt  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,990
New Braunfels, San Saba county
You should be ashamed...harassing people like that. LOL

Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102286
03/06/18 02:23 AM
03/06/18 02:23 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 436
Plano, TX
G
Gary Olson Offline
Bird Dog
Gary Olson  Offline
Bird Dog
G

Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 436
Plano, TX
Change the names, sent it to the inlaws.

Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102329
03/06/18 02:53 AM
03/06/18 02:53 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,506
bastrop county
C
colt45 Offline
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colt45  Offline
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C

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,506
bastrop county
laughed till I cried


hold on Newt, we got a runaway
Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102364
03/06/18 03:29 AM
03/06/18 03:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 11,872
Lake Texoma, TX
2Beez Online happy
THF Celebrity
2Beez  Online Happy
THF Celebrity

Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 11,872
Lake Texoma, TX
clap roflmao

Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102461
03/06/18 08:58 AM
03/06/18 08:58 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,125
Ben Wheeler,Tx
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pigplinker Offline
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pigplinker  Offline
Veteran Tracker
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,125
Ben Wheeler,Tx
I didn't know they were watching me. LOL. roflmao

Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102501
03/06/18 12:29 PM
03/06/18 12:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,794
The Lone Star State
B
Bar-D Offline
Pro Tracker
Bar-D  Offline
Pro Tracker
B

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,794
The Lone Star State
clap


People Sleep Peacefully in Their Beds at Night Only Because Rough Men Stand Ready to Do Violence on Their Behalf
Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7102596
03/06/18 01:58 PM
03/06/18 01:58 PM
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,914
CEDAR CREEK LAKE
C
CCBIRDDOGMAN Offline
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,914
CEDAR CREEK LAKE
I cant wait to get old.


Originally Posted by bill oxner
Haven't had it in years but never spit any out.
Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7103589
03/07/18 09:56 AM
03/07/18 09:56 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 374
Quinlan, Tx
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grandpa75672 Offline
Bird Dog
grandpa75672  Offline
Bird Dog
G

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 374
Quinlan, Tx
roflmao roflmao roflmao


Re: Banned from Walmart [Re: PMK] #7103853
03/07/18 04:28 PM
03/07/18 04:28 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 39,642
Over yonder.....
S
SnakeWrangler Online content
THF Celebrity
SnakeWrangler  Online Content
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S

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 39,642
Over yonder.....
Thanks for the list of ideas....shopping with my wife should be much more entertaining now..... roflmao


Originally Posted By: skinnerback
Milf does the trick.

"You're statistically more likely to be killed by Hillary Clinton than an NRA member. - PolitiDiva

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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