WRITTEN BY A MEAN (but observant) WOMAN

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'


'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Texas !'

And they say blondes are dumb....

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'


The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...... '.

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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower....
'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'


'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.


AMEN

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Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy. .

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

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While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world . . .
then He made the earth round.

Thanks Mikei.

Sounds kinda sexist to me.....

Yes some of that hits real close to home.