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Mar 25th, 2012
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Men's Rules #6968364
11/21/17 09:15 PM
11/21/17 09:15 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 3,636
Mason, TX
M
mikei Online content OP
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mikei  Online Content OP
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Mason, TX
Men's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
 
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.) 
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side
 
Now here are the rules from the male side.


Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' 
ON PURPOSE!
 
1. Men are NOT mind readers

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as hunting, fishing, golfing, or something with wheels.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Last edited by mikei; 11/21/17 11:03 PM.
Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6968372
11/21/17 09:20 PM
11/21/17 09:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 811
Texas
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 811
Texas
clapBout sums it up!


Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6968487
11/21/17 10:58 PM
11/21/17 10:58 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 7,777
Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
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PMK Offline
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PMK  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 7,777
Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
up


"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."

~PMK~
Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6969142
11/22/17 12:33 PM
11/22/17 12:33 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 734
Commerce, TX
F
fray Online content
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fray  Online Content
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 734
Commerce, TX
Well said cheers

Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6969371
11/22/17 03:24 PM
11/22/17 03:24 PM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,961
Weatherford, Texas
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Weatherford, Texas
upFINALLY!

Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6969514
11/22/17 05:30 PM
11/22/17 05:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 39,627
Over yonder.....
S
SnakeWrangler Online content
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Over yonder.....
I really like No. 1..... popcorn


Originally Posted By: skinnerback
Milf does the trick.

"You're statistically more likely to be killed by Hillary Clinton than an NRA member. - PolitiDiva

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6969649
11/22/17 07:56 PM
11/22/17 07:56 PM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 137
Austin & Young Co, TX
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Woodsman
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 137
Austin & Young Co, TX
I like the last comment the most- the couch is like camping, I like camping.

Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6971062
11/24/17 01:03 PM
11/24/17 01:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,544
Helotes, Hext
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,544
Helotes, Hext
clap



"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6971298
11/24/17 05:54 PM
11/24/17 05:54 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,125
Ben Wheeler,Tx
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Ben Wheeler,Tx
cheers

Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6978963
12/01/17 06:45 PM
12/01/17 06:45 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 100
East Texas
E
Echo 80 Offline
Woodsman
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Woodsman
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 100
East Texas
Amen

Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6979102
12/01/17 08:38 PM
12/01/17 08:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,838
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rofl


Sometimes it's hard being me! But somebody has to do it.
Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6980700
12/03/17 01:23 PM
12/03/17 01:23 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,328
Ray Roberts
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Ray Roberts
flehan

Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei] #6985705
12/06/17 10:08 PM
12/06/17 10:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,794
The Lone Star State
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Bar-D Online content
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The Lone Star State
Hail, oh wise oracle!


People Sleep Peacefully in Their Beds at Night Only Because Rough Men Stand Ready to Do Violence on Their Behalf
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