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The Pirate and the Bartender
#6937492
10/29/17 07:03 AM
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 15,564
TexFlip
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 15,564 |
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"Arrh – Not at ‘tall." the pirate replies, "I be fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Arrh!," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Aye," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Arrh," says the pirate, "One day when I was swabbing me deck, some gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them arrgh, he, shat in me eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!"
"Well," says the pirate, "'Twas me first day with me hook.”
Just to make sure that it is done thoroughly, I go both ways.
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6937498
10/29/17 08:12 AM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708
pigplinker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708 |
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6937517
10/29/17 10:22 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,517
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,517 |
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6937838
10/29/17 05:12 PM
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,537
BayouGuy
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,537 |
If you can't laugh at yourself, give me a call. I'll gladly laugh at you. "I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi's and Chuck Schumer's point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my [censored]." Senator John Kennedy, Louisiana
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6938161
10/29/17 10:25 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,902
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,902 |
"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6938285
10/30/17 12:09 AM
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 387
Trophytaker3
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 387 |
In this order.... Faith, Family, Hunting. http://atvutvcustomizer.com/Pacific Eagle UTV enclosures. Kawasaki, Honda , Polaris, Kymco, and many more! Trump, Make America Great Again!
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6940565
10/31/17 01:47 PM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458
redhaze
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6940642
10/31/17 02:23 PM
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,404
Bass&More
Veteran Tracker
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Posts: 2,404 |
Good one OP More Pirate stuff. A little boy with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate for Halloween. At the first house a woman opens the door, and the boy says, "I'm a birate. This is my barrot. Can I have some bandy?" The woman looks at him and says, "My, aren't you cute. But where are your buccaneers?" The boy gets angry: "On the side of my buckin head, you buckin idiot." So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.. Bar Tender: "hi sir, um.. you know you have a steering wheel in your pants right?" Pirate: "Aye! it's driving me nutz!" Bates the Pirate A strapping young pirate named Bates Once tried to disco on skates He fell on his cutlass And now he is nutless And practically useless on dates
Last edited by Bass&More; 10/31/17 02:26 PM.
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender
[Re: TexFlip]
#6941764
11/01/17 10:58 AM
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,328
Stray Cat
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
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Posts: 1,328 |
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