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The Pirate and the Bartender #6937492
10/29/17 07:03 AM
10/29/17 07:03 AM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,269
Chambers County
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TexFlip Online content OP
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,269
Chambers County
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"Arrh – Not at ‘tall." the pirate replies, "I be fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Arrh!," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Aye," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Arrh," says the pirate, "One day when I was swabbing me deck, some gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them arrgh, he, shat in me eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!"

"Well," says the pirate, "'Twas me first day with me hook.”

Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6937498
10/29/17 08:12 AM
10/29/17 08:12 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,125
Ben Wheeler,Tx
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6937517
10/29/17 10:22 AM
10/29/17 10:22 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 39,422
Over yonder.....
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Over yonder.....
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Milf does the trick.

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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6937838
10/29/17 05:12 PM
10/29/17 05:12 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,050
S.E. Louisiana
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If you can't laugh at yourself, give me a call. I'll gladly laugh at you.
Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6938161
10/29/17 10:25 PM
10/29/17 10:25 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,524
Helotes, Hext
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Simple Searcher Online content
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"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6938285
10/30/17 12:09 AM
10/30/17 12:09 AM
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 387
East Montgomery county, Texas
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Posts: 387
East Montgomery county, Texas
lol35 banana lol444 clap


In this order....
Faith, Family, Hunting.


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Pacific Eagle UTV enclosures. Kawasaki, Honda , Polaris, Kymco, and many more!

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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6940565
10/31/17 01:47 PM
10/31/17 01:47 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 730
Commerce, TX
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Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6940642
10/31/17 02:23 PM
10/31/17 02:23 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,426
Jack County
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Good one OP clap
More Pirate stuff.

A little boy with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate for Halloween. At the first house a woman opens the door, and the boy says, "I'm a birate. This is my barrot. Can I have some bandy?" The woman looks at him and says, "My, aren't you cute. But where are your buccaneers?" The boy gets angry: "On the side of my buckin head, you buckin idiot."


So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.. Bar Tender: "hi sir, um.. you know you have a steering wheel in your pants right?" Pirate: "Aye! it's driving me nutz!"


Bates the Pirate
A strapping young pirate named Bates Once tried to disco on skates He fell on his cutlass And now he is nutless And practically useless on dates
hammer peep

Last edited by Bass&More; 10/31/17 02:26 PM.
Re: The Pirate and the Bartender [Re: TexFlip] #6941764
11/01/17 10:58 AM
11/01/17 10:58 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,328
Ray Roberts
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