Three guys were sitting around drinking one day and they started talking about their earliest memories. The first guy says,"I remember when I was a baby, with my mom holding me and breastfeeding me."
Not to be outdone, the second guy says, "I remember going through a long, dark tunnel, and when I came out, a doctor picked me up by my feet and slapped me on the butt."
The third one says, "I remember going to the prom with my dad and coming home with my mom".

Like my Dad always said, the first liar never has a chance.