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Best hunting story ever..... #6562823 11/29/16 12:16 AM
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shadams Offline OP
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So a couple years back we had 2 deer on my game cameras at my feeder we dubbed "Great white" and "Orca"...GW was a huge 9 point deer. Big bodied and rack, Orca was even bigger bodied but much wider. Had them for 2 months before hunting season in 14 and never saw them during the season or since.

Driving out to my place Fri night my cousin calls and says dude.....guess what....GREAT WHITE IS BACK!! Now my cousin is the coolest guy you'll ever meet. Big dude with an even bigger heart. But he is one of those guys that has a story for everything and always see's the biggest deer ever here and there so I always rib him a bit about it anytime another BIG DEER story comes up. He has little things he swears by, for example he always brings empty water bottles to piss in because you cant piss anywhere you are hunting because they will smell it, he even brings them back to camp rather than pouring them out on the property. Anyway he tells me he watched GW at my feeder for 30minutes and hes even bigger than ever. Gets me goin of course so I am pumped to see this deer and put him on the ground. He then tells me he saw orca too and shot at him 4 times and the deer just stood there, then took off.Again, an eyeroll haha. Later went to the range and his gun was way high "Ive NEVER had to site my gun man!" He says he isnt going to make it up that night so good luck and I could tell he was secretly hoping I wouldnt see him.

Im sitting in my blind when I get a text that hes coming up afterall, and I'm kinda bummed because his spot isnt too far from my and in the perimeter and my chances just got cut in half. GW was a no show, so of course I'm really doubting his story now, and just as it gets dark i hear BOOOOMMMM and think awww [censored]....so we wait a bit and grab the polaris and head up to his spot to see what he got. When we pull up he is parked by the feeder and his boy is walking around, and my cousin has his head down in his arms and when he sees us, he starts pacing and kicking the dirt...."what happend???" "It was him.....great white" he says.....so I say"Well, wtf, where is he" "I GUESS I FN MISSED HIM MAN DAMMN" and continues to boo hoo all over the place telling me how there is no blood and they have been walking around for 30 minutes and nothing. He was so bummed I was starting to feel bad. We get back to the house and my other cousin comes back from his spot so I get to hear the story again about how he missed the biggest deer ever and how he isnt meant to get a big buck ever because something always goes wrong. He moans and groans on for another 10 minutes and finally gets in the truck to head home. My bro in law and I watch as they drive off and all of a sudden the brakes violently apply and the door comes flying open and he just flat out raged a barf into the ground. I mean like screaming at the top of his lungs and barfing at the same time. I yell out "DAMN MAN, YOU OK???" and he throws a couple of air punches my way, slams the hell out of his door to his new chevy and floors it out over the cattle guard. We look at each other and kinda laugh, damn he musta worked himself up. I call his boy later to ask what happend......remember when I told you he keeps his piss bottles.......oh yea......he drank his own piss.....after all that, in a huff, he grabbed piss bottle and starts chugging. He realizes two gulps in its piss and just sprays piss out the nose and everything. All over the headliner, all over the windshield, and instinct kicks in and he goes to throw the bottle out the window.....buts it is CLOSED. It hits the window and basically ricochets piss back out of the bottle and directly in his face which triggers an instant vomit fest of epic propotions. Now there is piss and piss flavored throw up everywhere.....everywhere.....all this happend in a nano second and his boy tells me he literally was close to dying from laughing so hard. He said man...I have never seen my dad so mad in his life.

He said the drive home was horrible....he says his dad said he was never hunting again...just cant do it, its too much work, its too stressful and all for what??!! and mout full of piss??!! rawwwrrrrrr........hahahahahahaahaahaahaahahahahaahaaha....

So it does get better. He sleeps in but his boy comes out to "check for the deer" but of course we all knew he just missed it, and we get done with the hunt and his boy comes flying in to camp with a nice 10 pointer (not great white) and is grinning ear to ear. He calls his dad and tells him "man I looked everywhere high and low, and just as I was done, i scanned one last time and not 30 feet from the feeder there he was, under a tree in some tall grass. I can hear his dad screaming for joy on the other end of the line.

So in the end it all worked out, he got his big deer, and we have an awesome story. We named the deer "big gulp" and are going to put that on the plaque and put him up and the ranch.....good times....oh and BTW, nice dder no doubt, but not Great white. Upon seeing the deer himself he said "ok i am going to make a proclamation, I musta had my "deer googles" on. This deer isnt great white.....



Last edited by shadams; 11/29/16 12:27 AM.

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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6562836 11/29/16 12:25 AM
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Thats some stuff. Poor guy

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6562844 11/29/16 12:30 AM
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rofl


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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6562861 11/29/16 12:41 AM
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My dad and I used to duck hunt with another father and son when I was a young kid. The other man chewed tobacco and spit in a coke can. His son got the coke cans mixed up one day, I've never seen anyone else turn that green before or since that day! sick roflmao

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6562863 11/29/16 12:42 AM
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That brought tears to my eyes. It's the funniest story I've heard in awhile

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6562953 11/29/16 01:26 AM
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Fun


Originally Posted By: cameron00
If I send my neighbors a text and ask them to give me feedback on my lawn and plant rye into a giant dong pattern, I'm probably going to get some less than positive feedback. Same goes here.
Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563057 11/29/16 02:11 AM
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What a story, that's got to be number one camp fire story. Can you make him a plaque with a piss bottle on it?

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563097 11/29/16 02:27 AM
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roflmao

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: Dalee7892] #6563099 11/29/16 02:28 AM
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Originally Posted By: MikeC
rofl
Originally Posted By: Dalee7892
What a story, that's got to be number one camp fire story. Can you make him a plaque with a piss bottle on it?

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563118 11/29/16 02:38 AM
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A day like that and I will give up hunting


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LETS GO BRANDON!!!
Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563228 11/29/16 03:39 AM
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Hilarious, same thing (sorta) happened to me.

Was sleeping on a buddy's couch and woke up the next morning and we all needed to shake it off, so we started popping beers. Clear Corona bottles to be specific. A friend is on his phone and doesn't notice he's picking up a bottle half full of dip spit and so I see him tip the bottle up, see the spit, tobacco, etc run into his mouth, see him swallow, see his expression...but here's the thing...

He didn't throw up. I did. Power of suggestion. I rolled over off the couch because there is zero time and just hurl all over my own clothes, wallet, and phone, which are sitting on top of my clothes pile at the side of the couch.

Terrible start to the day.

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: cameron00] #6563253 11/29/16 03:50 AM
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Originally Posted By: cameron00
Hilarious, same thing (sorta) happened to me.

Was sleeping on a buddy's couch and woke up the next morning and we all needed to shake it off, so we started popping beers. Clear Corona bottles to be specific. A friend is on his phone and doesn't notice he's picking up a bottle half full of dip spit and so I see him tip the bottle up, see the spit, tobacco, etc run into his mouth, see him swallow, see his expression...but here's the thing...

He didn't throw up. I did. Power of suggestion. I rolled over off the couch because there is zero time and just hurl all over my own clothes, wallet, and phone, which are sitting on top of my clothes pile at the side of the couch.

Terrible start to the day.



2 great stories in one night, ok I gata go to bed now. Ya'll watch what ya drink.

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563283 11/29/16 04:12 AM
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I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard ...

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563365 11/29/16 06:32 AM
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That is hilarious. My buddies wife used his roadie bottle to clean ice of the windshield before...

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: chesterc] #6563416 11/29/16 11:40 AM
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Originally Posted By: chesterc
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard ...
rofl


Originally Posted by Sneaky
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable dickhead
Originally Posted by beaversnipe
Actually, BBC is pretty damn good

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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #6563429 11/29/16 11:57 AM
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lol35


I Feed Indian Corn. The deer love it and all the colors make them stay at the feeder longer.
Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7344841 11/11/18 04:41 AM
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Man we were just telling this story again and I had to find this thread. It actually gets better. So we decided to change the deers name from big gulp to "urine luck buck". He gets pissed whenever we tell this story, which is every chance we get. Heres the deer BTW... Awesome animal.

So my cousin has this thing where he takes the pic of the deer and puts all the details about where shot, how far, type of gun etc. And puts the name of the deer on it. This is where it gets good. It's supposed to be "urine luck buck".... He comes up and hangs the mount and then the Pic... I say.... "dude" and give.him this [censored] eating grin.... "what?" he says..... "duuuuude come on" he turns bright red....... "I know I know I just couldn't type it out I hoped yall wouldn't notice!" oh I noticed I said. Don't change it, itakes the story that much better! "

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Last edited by shadams; 11/11/18 04:45 AM.

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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7345810 11/12/18 03:06 PM
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wow. just wow.


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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7348727 11/14/18 11:38 PM
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Great story


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I have read a bunch of stuff on the internet about Star Wars but that does not mean I can skin a deer with a light saber.
Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7348750 11/15/18 12:14 AM
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Greatness. You gotta post a picture of your cousin. As funny as that story was, It would be better if we could picture this guy that was so pissed, then drank piss......that is big screen funny.


An unethical shot is one you take, that you know you shouldn't.
Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7348781 11/15/18 12:52 AM
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rofl Funny story

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7349701 11/15/18 11:19 PM
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Easily the funniest thing I have ever read on the THF roflmao

Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: chesterc] #7349814 11/16/18 01:15 AM
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Originally Posted by chesterc
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard ...


That was great, my wife thought there was something wrong with me I was laughing so hard.


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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: onlysmith&wesson] #7350142 11/16/18 01:43 PM
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Glad yall enjoyed it as much as we did.....

Originally Posted by onlysmith&wesson
Greatness. You gotta post a picture of your cousin. As funny as that story was, It would be better if we could picture this guy that was so pissed, then drank piss......that is big screen funny.


No friggin way. I would get the [censored] kicking of a lifetime if he even knew I posted this hahahahah!!!


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Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams] #7350154 11/16/18 01:55 PM
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I'm glad you pulled up this old thread. LOL great laugh this morning!


Originally Posted by SnakeWrangler
Originally Posted by TurkeyHunter
And make Kamila president

She’d just end up blowing it......
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