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Texan in hell #4084374 02/26/13 05:03 PM
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smh264 Offline OP
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A Texan in Hell

Day 1 - Per his daily ritual, Satan walks through his domain to see that everyone is sufficiently miserable. As usual, he pauses to take special pleasure in the pain and agony displayed by the new arrivals. However, on this particular day he spots a lanky Texan smiling and looking like he's
at a picnic.

"Hey you!", Satan yells, "The temperature in here is a constant 95 degrees and the humidity is 90%! You're supposed to be miserable!"

Quips the Texan, "Maybe so, but it feels just like Houston in June to me. I had a lot of fun on those hot summer nights at Gilley's."

Miffed, Satan, decides to adjust the temperature up to 100 degrees and the humidity to 95%.

Day 2 - On his daily stroll, Satan notices everyone appears exceptionally miserable today. He then remembers the smiling Texan and decides to see how he's faring today. To his surprise, the Texan has unbuttoned a couple of buttons on his shirt, but he still looks happy and carefree.

Satan cries out, "Hey Tex, what are you smiling at now?".

The Texan replies, "Well this reminds me of those Willie Nelson 4th of July picnics. Boy those were some great parties."

This really irritated Satan, who immediately turned the temperature to 110 and the humidity to 100%.

Day 3 - Satan dispenses with his daily stroll and goes straight to the region of hell where he would locate the Texan. Sure enough, he finds the Texan, shirt-off, with a huge grin on his face.

"Okay, so what is it this time?" Satan asks.

"Well, it's just like Dallas in August. Man we had some great times watching the Cowboys play on a Sunday afternoons."

Totally irate, Satan determines to put an end to this charade. He sets the temperature down to zero degrees and whips up a 20 mile per hour wind.

Later that day, Satan can wait no longer and decides to check back on the fool hardy Texan. He finds him huddled and shivering...lips blue, arms folded, snow in his hair and icicles hanging from his mustache. But bigger than
Dallas, there he was laughing out loud and wearing a huge smile.

"I GIVE UP!" declared Satan. "What in blue blazes could you find to be happy about now?"

The Texan replied, "Well, this can only mean one thing...The Aggies have finally won a National Football Championship!"


Lifetime NRA Member, GPAA member
Ex Law Enforcement/Police Firearms Instructor
Re: Texan in hell [Re: smh264] #4084391 02/26/13 05:13 PM
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Gravytrain Offline
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That's a long way for an Aggies joke!

Re: Texan in hell [Re: Gravytrain] #4084441 02/26/13 05:38 PM
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Hunt n Fish Offline
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Aggies got to read it REAL slow!


HnF

"Prayer is when you talk to the Lord, Meditation is when you listen to what he says"
Re: Texan in hell [Re: Hunt n Fish] #4084858 02/26/13 08:29 PM
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TXHOGSLAYER Online Content
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Originally Posted By: Hunt n Fish
Aggies got to read it REAL slow!


HAHAHAHAHA!!


See y'all around the campfire.

Originally Posted by FiremanJG
I love a happy ending.


Re: Texan in hell [Re: TXHOGSLAYER] #4085878 02/27/13 02:54 AM
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BPence Offline
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Good one

Re: Texan in hell [Re: BPence] #4088036 02/28/13 01:01 AM
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Ratherbefishing Offline
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Please re-type the joke below this post so I can read it again.... smile

Re: Texan in hell [Re: Ratherbefishing] #4088518 02/28/13 03:49 AM
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Gary Olson Offline
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I thought the punch line was "Now I am sure Hell is in Amarillo"!

Re: Texan in hell [Re: Gary Olson] #4091197 03/01/13 03:43 AM
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Oxxon Offline
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clap

Re: Texan in hell [Re: Oxxon] #4097896 03/04/13 09:25 AM
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Jon B Offline
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poor aggies


I wish stupidity was not so handsomly rewarded.
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