A guy and a monkey go into a bar.
The monkey starts running around and finds some lime rinds, eats them and then finds an olive and eats it. Hops up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball and to everyones amazement, swallows it whole.
The bartender says " Did you see what your monkey just did "
The guy said " No, what"
Bartender says "He just swallowed my Que ball, Whole!"
Guy says " That doesn't surprise me , he eats everything. I'll pay for the que ball and whatever else he eats." Then gets up pays his bill and walks out.
Couple of weeks later , he and the monkey return , go into the bar and the monkey starts running around , finds a maraschino cherry, sticks it up his butt and then finds a peanut , sticks it up his butt, then pulls them both out and eats them.
The bartender says " Did you see what that monkey did, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out and ate them "
" Doesn't surprise me " said the guy " Ever since he ate that que ball and had to pass it, He measures everything first"