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Redneck Church #2450502 07/24/11 04:29 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner Offline OP
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1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .....

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of". (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue Stand.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You know You're in a Redneck Church if .....

The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".
God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers


=



Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


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Re: Redneck Church [Re: bill oxner] #2452226 07/25/11 01:13 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
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Big A Offline
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I did like that one.




Originally Posted By: NTX_Hunter
"The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun"
Re: Redneck Church [Re: Big A] #2452318 07/25/11 02:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,328
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retfuz Online Content
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Best one yet.


Re: Redneck Church [Re: retfuz] #2452379 07/25/11 02:21 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
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HICKORY12 Offline
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happy3 elmer moose texas



Remember The Alamo. And GOD BLESS ROBERT E. LEE.
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Re: Redneck Church [Re: HICKORY12] #2455365 07/26/11 04:22 PM
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Mr Redneck Offline
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eeks333


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