An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily.
Where have ye been all this time, child?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?
Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff... Dad.... I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!!?
Get outta here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this Catholic family!!

'OK, Dad... As ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten
bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex.

And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible
that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes a
breath)... And an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new
yacht in the Riviera .'

'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff... A prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! Be Jesus!�� Ye scared me half to death, girl!

I thought ye said a Protestant.

Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!'

I'm going to tell the priest that next Monday after my son's confirmation.