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Everything is bigger in Texas
#1112780
12/17/09 07:24 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,762
passthru
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THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11,762 |
I used to live in a northern state and when I was young I hitch hiked a lot. One night it was snowing pretty bad and I was freezing my azz off. After a while an 18 wheeler pulled over and picked me up. I was mighty grateful and was soon getting a history lesson as well as listening to the bragging of this 6'6" 350+lb Texan trucker. He went on about the longhorn cattle as big as buffalo and deer with racks like pecan trees. I listened and shot the breeze with this big guy for hours.
The storm was worsening and visibility was non-existent but he refused to slow down stating "my truck is the biggest, baddest truck on the road. We'll be okay". All of a sudden we started to slide on the ice and the last thing I remember was the truck slamming into a bridge piling at an overpass.
I woke up in a local hospital with a slight concussion and asked about the trucker. They said that he didn't make it and was down at the local funeral home. I caught a ride there and went in to pay my last respects. The lady at the front told me that they hadn't been able to contact any family and he was so big they would have to special order a casket for him. She was telling me that with the storm they wouldn't be able to get in a coffin to fit him for days.
Just then the head of the mortuary walked in and told the young lady they were able to successfully find a box for the giant man. When the lady asked how he replied that since he was from Texas, all they had to do was give him an enema, flush the sh!t out of him and then bury him in a shoe box.
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