Maybe there's a way to cook them that makes them tender, but I just don't bother any more. I don't skin or gut them nowadays, I only take the leg quarters and back straps.
I too take the hams and back and feed the rest to the buzzards now. Much easier and cleaner. As for making them tender, my wife uses the crock pot. After my electric smoker died, she put some ribs with dry rub in for about 6 hours one day. They were more tender than smoked but lacked the smoke flavor obviously. So tender, if you tried to pick it up by the bone, that's all you ended up with in your hand. MUCH easier than running the smoker too.