Two nuns are walking through the park when they get dragged into the bushes by a couple of men who proceed to rape them. One of the nuns cries out to Heaven 'Bless him Father, for he knows not what he does!' Hearing this, the other nun says 'Really? That's a shame. Mine does!'



A nun is walking through the park when she is dragged into the bushes and raped. Afterwards, the mans asks the nun 'What are you going to tell the bishop when you get back?' The nun replies 'The truth. That I was walking through the park and a man dragged me into the bushes and raped me twice - unless you're tired.'

While driving down the road, a man sees the following sign: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution prostitution 10 miles

He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought......soon he sees another sign, which says: St. Francis House of Prostitution 5 miles

Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real....then he drives past a third sign saying Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution next right

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive....on the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: S isters of St. Francis

He climbs the steps and rings the bell....the door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"....he answers, "i saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business.".....

"Very well, my son. Please follow me." ....he is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented....the nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, please knock on this door".............

He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.....this nun instructs, "please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway"....... He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup.....

He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him........ as the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

Go in peace. You have just been screwed by the Sisters of St. Francis . Serves you right, you sinner.

Men sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their habits partially blocking the view). Three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah; there are only 100 nuns there."

The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet calm voice said, "Why don't you go to hell...... there aren't any nuns there."

There were three nuns living in a retirement community. One day, two of the sisters were sitting on a bench talking, and one of the sisters was describing the potatoes that they used to grow at the convent. She said, "God really blessed our crops. The potatoes were this big around (using her thumbs and fingers to make a circle the size of a softball), and this long (holding her hands about a foot apart). When we made mashed potatoes, we had to use both hands on the masher (holding her fists one on top of the other and moving them up and down in the air)",
The other nun, who was very hard of hearing, was sitting on a bench a few feet away. She watched all the hand motions and leaned forward with her hand cupped behind her ear. She asked, "Father Who?"