Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the
Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not
paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an
inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.
"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and
he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free
board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work,
earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special
treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the
half-wit."

"That'll be me then," said Paddy

Like most small business owners.

I know the feeling

That'd be me except for the wife part...