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Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
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#7236622 - 07/26/18 05:09 PM Men are just happy people
mikei Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 11/16/14
Posts: 3234
Loc: Mason, TX
MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE
This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
Men Are Just Happier People!
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to a party, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter what your legs look like.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache !
You can do your Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: Toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument. (In my experience – not true. The man always does,“Yes Dear!” Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE·
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won'tchange, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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#7236635 - 07/26/18 05:21 PM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
SlabWhisperer Online   content
Bird Dog

Registered: 02/24/13
Posts: 334
Loc: Carrollton, TX.
roflmao

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#7236640 - 07/26/18 05:24 PM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
Homer Jay Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 01/01/12
Posts: 5775
Loc: Faut Wuth
hmmm...

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#7236923 - 07/26/18 10:52 PM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
TEXASLEFTY Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 10/26/07
Posts: 10544
Loc: The Island Cres
Thought for the day is greatness!!!!

A+ on that alone!
_________________________
Originally Posted By: Chunky Monkey
Never been to a camping world. I prefer Dick's to be honest.

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#7236996 - 07/27/18 05:36 AM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: TEXASLEFTY]
SnakeWrangler Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 37230
Loc: Over yonder.....
Originally Posted By: TEXASLEFTY
Thought for the day is greatness!!!!

A+ on that alone!
I concur...
_________________________
"You're statistically more likely to be killed by Hillary Clinton than an NRA member. - PolitiDiva

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

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#7237060 - 07/27/18 07:08 AM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
snake oil Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 01/10/16
Posts: 1922
Loc: Graham
The truth is spoken!!

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#7237091 - 07/27/18 07:46 AM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 18428
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
Solid A. I rarely score them higher.
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

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#7237384 - 07/27/18 11:48 AM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
Ders26 Offline
Woodsman

Registered: 09/08/16
Posts: 108
up

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#7238938 - 07/29/18 12:44 PM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
rickym Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 06/14/15
Posts: 5949
Loc: texas
up
_________________________
Originally Posted By: Grizz
Wingshooting is like sex for me - I love doing it but I'm just not that good at it.

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#7239507 - 07/30/18 02:48 AM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
pigplinker Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 08/07/11
Posts: 1948
Loc: Ben Wheeler,Tx
banana

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#7244966 - 08/04/18 08:37 AM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
Jon B Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 01/06/13
Posts: 267
Loc: Central Texas
Fantastic!
_________________________
I wish stupidity was not so handsomly rewarded.

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#7245612 - 08/04/18 08:27 PM Re: Men are just happy people [Re: mikei]
Cajun Raider Offline
Tracker

Registered: 07/23/11
Posts: 744
Loc: Texas
My life in print!
_________________________
Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.

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