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#6968364 - 11/21/17 03:15 PM Men's Rules
mikei Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 11/16/14
Posts: 2146
Men's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
 
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.) 
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side
 
Now here are the rules from the male side.


Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' 
ON PURPOSE!
 
1. Men are NOT mind readers

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as hunting, fishing, golfing, or something with wheels.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


Edited by mikei (11/21/17 05:03 PM)

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#6968372 - 11/21/17 03:20 PM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
Cajun Raider Offline
Tracker

Registered: 07/23/11
Posts: 630
Loc: Texas
clapBout sums it up!
_________________________
Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.

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#6968487 - 11/21/17 04:58 PM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
PMK Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 09/10/12
Posts: 6298
Loc: Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
up
_________________________
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."

~PMK~

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#6969142 - 11/22/17 06:33 AM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
fray Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 09/01/16
Posts: 381
Loc: Commerce, TX
Well said cheers

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#6969371 - 11/22/17 09:24 AM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
Red Cloud Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/04/09
Posts: 1878
Loc: Weatherford, Texas
upFINALLY!

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#6969514 - 11/22/17 11:30 AM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 30219
Loc: Over yonder.....
I really like No. 1..... popcorn
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

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#6969649 - 11/22/17 01:56 PM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
TX-Bear Online   content
Woodsman

Registered: 10/18/13
Posts: 125
Loc: Austin & Young Co, TX
I like the last comment the most- the couch is like camping, I like camping.

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#6971062 - 11/24/17 07:03 AM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
Simple Searcher Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 5440
Loc: Helotes, Hext
clap
_________________________


"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark

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#6971298 - 11/24/17 11:54 AM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
pigplinker Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 08/07/11
Posts: 1455
Loc: Ben Wheeler,Tx
cheers

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#6978963 - 12/01/17 12:45 PM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
Echo 80 Online   content
Outdoorsman

Registered: 12/07/14
Posts: 56
Loc: East Texas
Amen

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#6979102 - 12/01/17 02:38 PM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
hook_n_line Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 01/20/12
Posts: 4705
rofl
_________________________
Sometimes it's hard being me! But somebody has to do it.

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#6980700 - 12/03/17 07:23 AM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
Stray Cat Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 1180
Loc: VA Grayson County
flehan

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#6985705 - 12/06/17 04:08 PM Re: Men's Rules [Re: mikei]
bar-d Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 02/03/11
Posts: 1016
Loc: The Lone Star State
Hail, oh wise oracle!
_________________________
People Sleep Peacefully in Their Beds at Night Only Because Rough Men Stand Ready to Do Violence on Their Behalf

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