HERE YA' GO!
Why did the Aggie get rid of his freezer?
He got tired of cutting the ice into little squares to fit into the trays.
What's the best selling underarm deodorant in College Station?
Why can't Aggie farmers raise chickens?
They plant the eggs too deep.
There was an aggie that saw a sign that said "Wet Cement". So he did.
How does an Aggie evacuate Houston in case of a hurricane?
Uses 610 Loop
How many aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?
Three. One to eat it and two to watch the road.
What do Aggies call road kill armadillo?
Possum on the half shell.
There was and aggie who wore the same pair of socks every day. His mother finally told him to put on a new pair of socks on every day. A few days later, he couldn't put his shoes on.
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day. He
inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look
Michael, see what I have made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,
"what is it?" "It's a planet" replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm
going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to
different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of
great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor, the
Middle East over there, will be a Hot Spot. Over there I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The
Archangel, impressed by Gods' work, then pointed to a particularly fine
place. "What's that?" "Ah," said God, "Austin, Texas. The most glorious
place on Earth. There are beautiful women and an exquisite campus, and it is
called 'The University of Texas at Austin'. The people from Austin are going
to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found
traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and
carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them winning athletic teams who
will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in
wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You
said there would be balance." God replied, "Wait until you see the
loud-mouth [censored] holes I'm putting next to them in College Station."
Why do TEXAS A&M graduates hang their diplomas
from the rear view mirror?
To justify their handicapped parking.