Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
WiseOutdoor, ksantibanez95, Lildeerman, CapTX, CajunTexan
63292 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 85096
stxranchman 52212
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44341
bill oxner 43805
BOBO the Clown 43129
BMD 40667
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 35066
SnakeWrangler 32655
facebook
Forum Stats
63292 Members
45 Forums
446573 Topics
6154562 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6919469 - 10/13/17 03:27 PM Heard this one today...
Guy Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 27646
Loc: Lake X
A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Never noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?

Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door. At this point the husband started choking up.

Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.

Top
#6919707 - 10/13/17 07:07 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 32655
Loc: Over yonder.....
cheers
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

Top
#6919714 - 10/13/17 07:14 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
HuntingTexas Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/06/08
Posts: 17095
Loc: Duncanville, Tx.
Sad but true lol444
_________________________
" In God We Trust "




Top
#6919773 - 10/13/17 08:16 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
TexasKC Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 2584
Loc: Houston & Lexington, Texas
A+ up

Top
#6920003 - 10/14/17 05:41 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
pigplinker Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 08/07/11
Posts: 1582
Loc: Ben Wheeler,Tx
clap

Top
#6920019 - 10/14/17 06:43 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Simple Searcher Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 5677
Loc: Helotes, Hext
clap
_________________________


"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark

Top
#6925510 - 10/19/17 06:03 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Stray Cat Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 1249
Loc: VA Grayson County
clap

Top
#6925552 - 10/19/17 07:11 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Bass&More Offline
Tracker

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 894
Loc: Jack County
clap peep

Top
#6926280 - 10/19/17 05:20 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
NMGW Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1561
Loc: New Mexico
roflmao
_________________________
New Mexico: Not Really New, Not Really Mexico

Top
#6927504 - 10/20/17 08:16 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Trophytaker3 Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 10/20/17
Posts: 387
Loc: East Montgomery county, Texas
lol35
_________________________
In this order....
Faith, Family, Hunting.


http://atvutvcustomizer.com/
Pacific Eagle UTV enclosures. Kawasaki, Honda , Polaris, Kymco, and many more!

Trump, Make America Great Again!

Top
#6929977 - 10/23/17 10:50 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
CCBIRDDOGMAN Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 10490
Loc: CEDAR CREEK LAKE
This would be me. I panic every time I pick something up for her at the pharmacy when they ask for her birth date.
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Haven't had it in years but never spit any out.

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide