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#6919469 - 10/13/17 03:27 PM Heard this one today...
Guy Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 27646
Loc: Lake X
A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Never noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?

Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door. At this point the husband started choking up.

Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.

#6919707 - 10/13/17 07:07 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 32655
Loc: Over yonder.....
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

#6919714 - 10/13/17 07:14 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
HuntingTexas Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/06/08
Posts: 17095
Loc: Duncanville, Tx.
Sad but true lol444
" In God We Trust "

#6919773 - 10/13/17 08:16 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
TexasKC Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 2584
Loc: Houston & Lexington, Texas
A+ up

#6920003 - 10/14/17 05:41 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
pigplinker Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 08/07/11
Posts: 1582
Loc: Ben Wheeler,Tx

#6920019 - 10/14/17 06:43 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Simple Searcher Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 5677
Loc: Helotes, Hext

"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark

#6925510 - 10/19/17 06:03 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Stray Cat Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 1249
Loc: VA Grayson County

#6925552 - 10/19/17 07:11 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Bass&More Offline

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 894
Loc: Jack County
clap peep

#6926280 - 10/19/17 05:20 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
NMGW Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1561
Loc: New Mexico
New Mexico: Not Really New, Not Really Mexico

#6927504 - 10/20/17 08:16 PM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
Trophytaker3 Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 10/20/17
Posts: 387
Loc: East Montgomery county, Texas
In this order....
Faith, Family, Hunting.
Pacific Eagle UTV enclosures. Kawasaki, Honda , Polaris, Kymco, and many more!

Trump, Make America Great Again!

#6929977 - 10/23/17 10:50 AM Re: Heard this one today... [Re: Guy]
THF Celebrity

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 10490
This would be me. I panic every time I pick something up for her at the pharmacy when they ask for her birth date.
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Haven't had it in years but never spit any out.


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