Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
elkchsr, jayman, 7JP, Marine3377, Denver
62609 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 83139
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44264
BOBO the Clown 42697
bill oxner 40798
BMD 40619
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 34803
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31411
facebook
Forum Stats
62609 Members
46 Forums
437753 Topics
6029840 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6875567 - 09/01/17 08:54 AM Parents and their kids!
mikei Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 11/16/14
Posts: 2041

     Jewish, Italian, and Irish Parents
 
 
JEWISH  MOTHER  (A GEM)
 
 
The year is 2020 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.
 
She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"
 
"I don't think so.  It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."
 
"Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home.  And a limousine will pick you up at your door.
 
"I don't know.  Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear?"
 
Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York."  
 
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."  
 
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom.  The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come."
 
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2021, Susan Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States.  In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her and says, 
 
"You see that woman over there with her hand on 
 
the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"  
 
The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."
 
Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor."
 
 
ITALIAN  MOTHER 
 
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. 
 
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.  
 
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on 
 
the couch and they chat for a while. 
 
He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?"  
 
Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."  
 
"That's amazing, Mama.  You're right.  How did you know?"
 
Mama replies:  "I don't like her."
 
 
 
AN IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON
 
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.  
 
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.  
 
I got him a Guinness Stout.  He didn't like it so I drank  it.   
 
Then I got him an Old Style.  He didn't like it either, so I drank it.  
 
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.  
 
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .
 
I could hardly push the stroller back home.
 

Top
#6875583 - 09/01/17 09:15 AM Re: Parents and their kids! [Re: mikei]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 16462
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
B+
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

Top
#6875732 - 09/01/17 11:56 AM Re: Parents and their kids! [Re: mikei]
TexasKC Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 2298
Loc: Houston & Lexington, Texas
LOL.

Top
#6877799 - 09/04/17 05:57 AM Re: Parents and their kids! [Re: mikei]
fray Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 09/01/16
Posts: 366
Loc: Commerce, TX
clap

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide