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Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
#6865980
08/23/17 01:41 PM
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 58
DHarden
OP
Outdoorsman
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OP
Outdoorsman
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 58 |
1. If a camp member should get lost, the distress signal is three shots, with an interval of 10 seconds between shots. This is so members may distinguish between the truly lost and those who are merely poor marksmen. 2. Nobody over 300 pounds permitted in upper bunks for any reason. One member is still removing plywood splinters from his backside after last year’s incident involving Tiny. 3. No lawyers allowed as guests. Ever. Even if he or she is a blood relation. 4. A dish is deemed clean if the user cannot identify last foodstuff eaten off of it. 5. Any hunter observed missing a shot under 150 yards at a standing deer will have his shirttail cut off in the presence of all camp members that evening. However, the “Woods exception” stipulates that no hunter shall have more than three shirts destroyed in said manner per day. 6. Long johns may be worn for no more than five days, or until fumes can be seen emanating from them, whichever comes first. 7. The Saran Wrap-over-the-toilet-seat trick may not be perpetrated after the first week of hunting season. 8. A member shooting a buck under 100 pounds live weight (or doe under 70 pounds) must leave the animal where it drops. A party including the shooter and a majority of members present will then be assembled to retrieve the deer. Members hauling the carcass will express incredulity at the immense size of the animal and voice the fear of injuring their backs. This is intended to promote camaraderie and group cohesion. 9. A deer taken by a member may gain no more than 2 antler points per hunting year, with a 4-point maximum. To wit, a 6-pointer may be referred to as an 8-pointer the following season, and a 10-pointer the season after, but will never become a 12-pointer no matter how long the hunter lives. 10. Peeing off the porch is prohibited during daylight hours. Peeing off the south end of porch after dark is permitted provided no members are sleeping in impact zone. 11. Any boy shooting his first buck will, at that evening’s dinner, be given the choice of eating either the right or left testicle of the buck. Cook will serve 2 hush puppies of not less than 3 inches diameter each to the boy. After a suitable silence, boy’s father or guardian will say, “Hell, I’ll make it easy for you, son,” and consume one hush puppy whole. He will then smack his lips and declare, “Now that’s a good testicle!” 12. All poker debts incurred after 9 p.m. are to be rolled one decimal point to the left. Thus, $100 becomes $10, $1,000 becomes $100, etc.
Darrell
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6866055
08/23/17 02:42 PM
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630
Cast
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630 |
Should be made into a sign and posted at camp.
Cast I have a short attention spa
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6866161
08/23/17 04:13 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,526
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,526 |
I like #12.....
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6866381
08/23/17 07:54 PM
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 262
easttxhoghunter
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 262 |
NRA Life Member
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6866393
08/23/17 08:06 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,089
jakebunch
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,089 |
Best set of camp rules ever devised!
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6866536
08/23/17 10:27 PM
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,451
Dalroo
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,451 |
Dalroo Deep in the Heart of Texas How about that Brandon!
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6867421
08/24/17 06:52 PM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,177
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
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The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,177 |
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Re: Deer Camp Rules (# 11)
[Re: DHarden]
#6871205
08/28/17 01:55 PM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,879
sbushee
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,879 |
Now that's darn good. Thanks!
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