Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
AZbowhunter, Rangerrick82, zman13tx, ftworthian, Ecm12
62204 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 82283
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44214
BOBO the Clown 42361
BMD 40617
bill oxner 39284
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 34452
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31323
facebook
Forum Stats
62204 Members
46 Forums
432726 Topics
5961641 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6821462 - 07/13/17 09:49 AM Men are just happier. . .
mikei Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 11/16/14
Posts: 1836

 
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.  Chocolate is just another snack.  You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
 
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character.  Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
 
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
 
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.   You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.   You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
 
No wonder men are happier!
 
NICKNAMES
 
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
 
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, 
Bubba and Wildman.
 
 
EATING OUT
 
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
 
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
 
MONEY
 
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
 
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
BATHROOMS
 
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
 
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS
 
A woman has the last word in any argument.
 
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE
 
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
 
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
MARRIAGE
 
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
 
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP
 
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
 
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL
 
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
 
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING
 
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
 
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
 
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor .... and to the men who will enjoy reading.
 

Top
#6821556 - 07/13/17 11:13 AM Re: Men are just happier. . . [Re: mikei]
ZK-315 Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 1860
Loc: Temple...Hunt in Freestone Co.
up I'll agree to 99% of all that but..
1. My wife has almost as much school teaching junk in our garage as anything else. Since its summer, she brings half of her classroom back home. bang
2. Replace shaving cream with electric buzzer for haircuts and beard trims

Top
#6823248 - 07/15/17 06:46 AM Re: Men are just happier. . . [Re: mikei]
fray Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 09/01/16
Posts: 346
Loc: Commerce, TX
grin

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide