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#6731726 - 04/11/17 10:37 AM Kick in the A$$!
mikei Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 11/16/14
Posts: 1842
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets. 

Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' 
 The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.' 

Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in New York , so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.' 
 The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. 
Gibson was satisfied. 

Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' 
 The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. 

 He then said, 'Now I can die happy.' 

The leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr.. U..S. Marine, what is your final wish?'

'Kick me in the a$$,' said the Marine. 

'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?' 

'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the a$$,' insisted the Marine. 

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the a$$. 
 The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. 
 In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took from them, sprayed the rest of the terrorists, killing another 11. 
 In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. 
 As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick your  a$$?' 
 'What?' replied the Marine, 'and have you three a$$holes report that I was the aggressor.....?’ 

 Semper Fi!  

#6731912 - 04/11/17 12:53 PM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 27686
Loc: Fairfield, TX
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

#6732110 - 04/11/17 04:10 PM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
2Beez Online   happy

Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 6916
Loc: Lake Texoma, TX

#6732741 - 04/12/17 09:25 AM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
PMK Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 09/10/12
Posts: 6031
Loc: Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."


#6734852 - 04/14/17 07:43 AM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
Red Cloud Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/04/09
Posts: 1734
Loc: Weatherford, Texas
up flag

#6734948 - 04/14/17 09:38 AM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
oldoak2000 Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/16/07
Posts: 2300
Loc: North Texas
grin up

#6735585 - 04/15/17 05:13 AM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
pigplinker Online   happy
Pro Tracker

Registered: 08/07/11
Posts: 1241
Loc: Ben Wheeler,Tx

#6738005 - 04/17/17 09:38 PM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: 2Beez]
Deerhunter61 Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 6833
Loc: DFW
Originally Posted By: PMK
Originally Posted By: 2Beez

#6739957 - 04/19/17 02:41 PM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
pdugas Offline

Registered: 06/11/12
Posts: 222
Loc: somewhere down da bayou
That's funny.... but also sad cause it ain't too far from the truth.

#6743100 - 04/22/17 03:36 PM Re: Kick in the A$$! [Re: mikei]
texasag93 Online   content

Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 4478
Loc: Argyle


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