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#6562823 - 11/28/16 06:16 PM Best hunting story ever.....
shadams Offline
Woodsman

Registered: 12/23/14
Posts: 184
Loc: BANDERA TX
So a couple years back we had 2 deer on my game cameras at my feeder we dubbed "Great white" and "Orca"...GW was a huge 9 point deer. Big bodied and rack, Orca was even bigger bodied but much wider. Had them for 2 months before hunting season in 14 and never saw them during the season or since.

Driving out to my place Fri night my cousin calls and says dude.....guess what....GREAT WHITE IS BACK!! Now my cousin is the coolest guy you'll ever meet. Big dude with an even bigger heart. But he is one of those guys that has a story for everything and always see's the biggest deer ever here and there so I always rib him a bit about it anytime another BIG DEER story comes up. He has little things he swears by, for example he always brings empty water bottles to piss in because you cant piss anywhere you are hunting because they will smell it, he even brings them back to camp rather than pouring them out on the property. Anyway he tells me he watched GW at my feeder for 30minutes and hes even bigger than ever. Gets me goin of course so I am pumped to see this deer and put him on the ground. He then tells me he saw orca too and shot at him 4 times and the deer just stood there, then took off.Again, an eyeroll haha. Later went to the range and his gun was way high "Ive NEVER had to site my gun man!" He says he isnt going to make it up that night so good luck and I could tell he was secretly hoping I wouldnt see him.

Im sitting in my blind when I get a text that hes coming up afterall, and I'm kinda bummed because his spot isnt too far from my and in the perimeter and my chances just got cut in half. GW was a no show, so of course I'm really doubting his story now, and just as it gets dark i hear BOOOOMMMM and think awww [censored]....so we wait a bit and grab the polaris and head up to his spot to see what he got. When we pull up he is parked by the feeder and his boy is walking around, and my cousin has his head down in his arms and when he sees us, he starts pacing and kicking the dirt...."what happend???" "It was him.....great white" he says.....so I say"Well, wtf, where is he" "I GUESS I FN MISSED HIM MAN DAMMN" and continues to boo hoo all over the place telling me how there is no blood and they have been walking around for 30 minutes and nothing. He was so bummed I was starting to feel bad. We get back to the house and my other cousin comes back from his spot so I get to hear the story again about how he missed the biggest deer ever and how he isnt meant to get a big buck ever because something always goes wrong. He moans and groans on for another 10 minutes and finally gets in the truck to head home. My bro in law and I watch as they drive off and all of a sudden the brakes violently apply and the door comes flying open and he just flat out raged a barf into the ground. I mean like screaming at the top of his lungs and barfing at the same time. I yell out "DAMN MAN, YOU OK???" and he throws a couple of air punches my way, slams the hell out of his door to his new chevy and floors it out over the cattle guard. We look at each other and kinda laugh, damn he musta worked himself up. I call his boy later to ask what happend......remember when I told you he keeps his piss bottles.......oh yea......he drank his own piss.....after all that, in a huff, he grabbed piss bottle and starts chugging. He realizes two gulps in its piss and just sprays piss out the nose and everything. All over the headliner, all over the windshield, and instinct kicks in and he goes to throw the bottle out the window.....buts it is CLOSED. It hits the window and basically ricochets piss back out of the bottle and directly in his face which triggers an instant vomit fest of epic propotions. Now there is piss and piss flavored throw up everywhere.....everywhere.....all this happend in a nano second and his boy tells me he literally was close to dying from laughing so hard. He said man...I have never seen my dad so mad in his life.

He said the drive home was horrible....he says his dad said he was never hunting again...just cant do it, its too much work, its too stressful and all for what??!! and mout full of piss??!! rawwwrrrrrr........hahahahahahaahaahaahaahahahahaahaaha....

So it does get better. He sleeps in but his boy comes out to "check for the deer" but of course we all knew he just missed it, and we get done with the hunt and his boy comes flying in to camp with a nice 10 pointer (not great white) and is grinning ear to ear. He calls his dad and tells him "man I looked everywhere high and low, and just as I was done, i scanned one last time and not 30 feet from the feeder there he was, under a tree in some tall grass. I can hear his dad screaming for joy on the other end of the line.

So in the end it all worked out, he got his big deer, and we have an awesome story. We named the deer "big gulp" and are going to put that on the plaque and put him up and the ranch.....good times....oh and BTW, nice dder no doubt, but not Great white. Upon seeing the deer himself he said "ok i am going to make a proclamation, I musta had my "deer googles" on. This deer isnt great white.....




Edited by shadams (11/28/16 06:27 PM)
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"Facts, not ideology, determine reality."

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#6562836 - 11/28/16 06:25 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
ChanceHuiet Online   content
Woodsman

Registered: 01/23/08
Posts: 101
Thats some stuff. Poor guy

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#6562844 - 11/28/16 06:30 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
MikeC Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 08/09/05
Posts: 11737
Loc: Grayson County
rofl
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In every old body lives a young person wondering what the hell happened!


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#6562861 - 11/28/16 06:41 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
BMag Offline
Light Foot

Registered: 06/17/16
Posts: 28
My dad and I used to duck hunt with another father and son when I was a young kid. The other man chewed tobacco and spit in a coke can. His son got the coke cans mixed up one day, I've never seen anyone else turn that green before or since that day! sick roflmao

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#6562863 - 11/28/16 06:42 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
TxHunter80 Online   content
Woodsman

Registered: 01/04/15
Posts: 215
That brought tears to my eyes. It's the funniest story I've heard in awhile

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#6562953 - 11/28/16 07:26 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
jshouse Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 01/24/10
Posts: 6240
Loc: Rockwall
Fun
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#6563057 - 11/28/16 08:11 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
Dalee7892 Online   content
Tracker

Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 992
Loc: Denton County
What a story, that's got to be number one camp fire story. Can you make him a plaque with a piss bottle on it?

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#6563097 - 11/28/16 08:27 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
D6Ranch Offline
Woodsman

Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 128
roflmao

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#6563099 - 11/28/16 08:28 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: Dalee7892]
Deerhunter61 Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 5543
Loc: DFW
Originally Posted By: MikeC
rofl
Originally Posted By: Dalee7892
What a story, that's got to be number one camp fire story. Can you make him a plaque with a piss bottle on it?

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#6563118 - 11/28/16 08:38 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
TXHOGSLAYER Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 12045
Loc: Katy, TX
A day like that and I will give up hunting
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Originally Posted By: Cleric
I need some meat frown

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#6563228 - 11/28/16 09:39 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
cameron00 Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 01/08/09
Posts: 8203
Loc: Texas
Hilarious, same thing (sorta) happened to me.

Was sleeping on a buddy's couch and woke up the next morning and we all needed to shake it off, so we started popping beers. Clear Corona bottles to be specific. A friend is on his phone and doesn't notice he's picking up a bottle half full of dip spit and so I see him tip the bottle up, see the spit, tobacco, etc run into his mouth, see him swallow, see his expression...but here's the thing...

He didn't throw up. I did. Power of suggestion. I rolled over off the couch because there is zero time and just hurl all over my own clothes, wallet, and phone, which are sitting on top of my clothes pile at the side of the couch.

Terrible start to the day.

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#6563253 - 11/28/16 09:50 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: cameron00]
red bluff Offline
Tracker

Registered: 07/08/12
Posts: 535
Loc: Texas, Erath
Originally Posted By: cameron00
Hilarious, same thing (sorta) happened to me.

Was sleeping on a buddy's couch and woke up the next morning and we all needed to shake it off, so we started popping beers. Clear Corona bottles to be specific. A friend is on his phone and doesn't notice he's picking up a bottle half full of dip spit and so I see him tip the bottle up, see the spit, tobacco, etc run into his mouth, see him swallow, see his expression...but here's the thing...

He didn't throw up. I did. Power of suggestion. I rolled over off the couch because there is zero time and just hurl all over my own clothes, wallet, and phone, which are sitting on top of my clothes pile at the side of the couch.

Terrible start to the day.



2 great stories in one night, ok I gata go to bed now. Ya'll watch what ya drink.

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#6563283 - 11/28/16 10:12 PM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
chesterc Offline
Outdoorsman

Registered: 03/15/13
Posts: 81
Loc: Dallas
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard ...

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#6563365 - 11/29/16 12:32 AM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: shadams]
Txduckman Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 11719
Loc: Big D
That is hilarious. My buddies wife used his roadie bottle to clean ice of the windshield before...

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#6563416 - 11/29/16 05:40 AM Re: Best hunting story ever..... [Re: chesterc]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 20927
Loc: Fairfield, TX
Originally Posted By: chesterc
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard ...
rofl
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Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

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