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What are Grits?
#6475282
09/30/16 09:48 PM
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047
mikei
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OP
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What Are Grits? > Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people think grits are made from ground up bits of white corn. These are lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good as a Grits can be made from corn. Research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients. > > How Grits are Formed: > Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in Georgia , and are guarded day and night by armed guards and attack dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast--not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the question. > > Yankees have attempted to create a synthetic Grits. They call them Cream of Wheat. As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause nausea, and can leave you unable to have children. > > Historical Grits: > As mentioned earlier, the first known mention of the Grits was by the Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert . After that, Grits were not heard from for another 1000 years. Grits were used during this time only during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public. The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary discovered in the seat of an old sedan. The woman's name was Herculania Jemimana, who was known as Aunt Jemima to her friends. > > The Ten Commandments of Grits: > I. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits > II.Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife > III.Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy > IV. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits > V.Thou shalt use only Salt, Butter, and red eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits > VI. Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits > VII. Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits > VIII. Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits. > IX. Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch . > X. Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven. > > How to Cook Grits: > For one serving of Grits: Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. Add 5 Tbsp of Grits. Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to > soak up all the water. When a pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, they are done. That's all there is to cooking grits. > How to make red eye gravy: Fry salt cured country ham in cast-iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and biscuits. > > How to Eat Grits: > Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous portion of butter or red eye gravy. Do NOT use low-fat butter. > The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter. In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your > grits. Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. Use biscuits made from scratch. Never, ever substitute canned or store-bought biscuits for the real thing because they can cause cancer, tooth decay and impotence. Next, add salt. The correct ratio of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt. Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits. Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork. The correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee. DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk. Your grits should rarely be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think it's Cream of Wheat. > > Ways to Eat Leftover Grits: > Leftover grits are extremely rare and may only be a rumor. Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish, Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight. The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass. Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2' of cooking oil and butter until they turn a golden brown. Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of course, unacceptable but delicious. > > BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS > > May the Lord bless these grits, > May Yankees never get the recipe, > May I eat grits each day while living, > And may I die while eating grits. > AMEN
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475296
09/30/16 10:07 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 4,800
TexasKC
Extreme Tracker
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Posts: 4,800 |
And all this time I thought grits were ground up hominy. Thanks for clearing that up.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475346
09/30/16 11:26 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
I'll eat them if they are put on my plate but I never order them.
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475359
09/30/16 11:33 PM
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 28,031
skinnerback
THF Celebrity Chef
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THF Celebrity Chef
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 28,031 |
Shrimp and grits, that is all....
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475366
09/30/16 11:38 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 60,296
stxranchman
Obie Juan Kenobi
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Obie Juan Kenobi
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 60,296 |
Are idiots multiplying faster than normal people?
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: skinnerback]
#6475399
10/01/16 12:03 AM
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 22,716
BigPig
THF Celebrity
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Shrimp and grits, that is all....
Wade Dews, REALTOR ® Rendon Realty, LLC Frontline Real Estate Team www.RendonRealty.comWadeDews@gmail.com 214-356-2410 Up to 1% for closing costs for First Responders & Veterans Proudly partnered with Assist The Officer Foundation https://atodallas.org/
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: TexasKC]
#6475449
10/01/16 12:52 AM
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047
mikei
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OP
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And all this time I thought grits were ground up hominy. Thanks for clearing that up. Jist tryin' to hep you out, TexasKC. Sort of a public service announcement. Glad I set you straight. Now you can spread the word.
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475454
10/01/16 12:56 AM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,287
scalebuster
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,287 |
They'll keep you from starving.
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475554
10/01/16 02:48 AM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,271
Palehorse
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: Palehorse]
#6475588
10/01/16 03:28 AM
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,307
bobcat1
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
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Posts: 8,307 |
I hate hominy and I hate grits
Bobby Barnett
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: BigPig]
#6475611
10/01/16 04:28 AM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,572
Tres
THF Trophy Hunter
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Posts: 8,572 |
Shrimp and grits, that is all.... I'll fight somebody for some shrimp and grits...
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475681
10/01/16 11:28 AM
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 33,426
bigbob_ftw
Big Sprocket Bob
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Big Sprocket Bob
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 33,426 |
Ultra MAGA '24.
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475685
10/01/16 11:36 AM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,663
CRAnderson52
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,663 |
You can have em
You can run but you can't hide...
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: Tres]
#6475693
10/01/16 11:48 AM
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 28,031
skinnerback
THF Celebrity Chef
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THF Celebrity Chef
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 28,031 |
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6475960
10/01/16 05:15 PM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 4,140
Dalee7892
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 4,140 |
That picture looks like "Blood and Guts".
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6476013
10/01/16 06:26 PM
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 7,825
poisonivie
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 7,825 |
You guys can have all my grits from now to eternity
Pee on Photobucket
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6476339
10/02/16 12:38 AM
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,047
mikei
OP
THF Trophy Hunter
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OP
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Posts: 7,047 |
Well, now that we have established the fact that not everyone on the Forum likes grits, what about okra? Surely none of you grit shamers would dare put okra, no matter how it is prepared, in your pie holes!
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6476442
10/02/16 01:49 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,536
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,536 |
I love okra any way you can prepare it..... .....grits are cooked chicken feed....
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: Tres]
#6476451
10/02/16 01:53 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,536
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,536 |
Shrimp and grits, that is all.... I'll fight somebody for some shrimp and grits... What a horrible bordering on despicable thing to do to perfectly good shrimp.....SMDH.....
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6476493
10/02/16 02:17 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 4,800
TexasKC
Extreme Tracker
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I wouldn't eat okra under any circumstances.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6476618
10/02/16 03:41 AM
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,779
P_102
Extreme Tracker
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Posts: 3,779 |
Who the he!! ever heard of a cast iron "pan".
Do not trifle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: P_102]
#6476630
10/02/16 03:55 AM
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,307
bobcat1
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,307 |
I like Okra raw boiled fried pickled. It don't matter how it's fixed I'll eat okra but not grits.
Bobby Barnett
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6476822
10/02/16 01:55 PM
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 7,825
poisonivie
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Posts: 7,825 |
I like crunchy fried okra with ketchup to dip it in. Any other way and its slimy.
Pee on Photobucket
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Re: What are Grits?
[Re: mikei]
#6479107
10/03/16 10:22 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 12,882
PMK
THF Celebrity
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 12,882 |
having parents that grew up thru the great depression ... I learned to eat pretty much any food that was put in front of me. I'll take hash-browns over grits but if the plate comes with grits, a good dusting of black pepper and a pinch of salt, they'll do okay. I think I can eat okra prepared just about anyway other than raw.
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."
~PMK~
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