An oldie but goodie for your holiday enjoyment!
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.”
I yelled, "Now, back off or I'll kick the stuffing out of all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Couple of minutes ago."