Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
happydaddy2, AZbowhunter, Rangerrick82, zman13tx, ftworthian
62205 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 82291
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44215
BOBO the Clown 42368
BMD 40617
bill oxner 39294
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 34452
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31324
facebook
Forum Stats
62205 Members
46 Forums
432810 Topics
5962576 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6341996 - 06/20/16 03:46 PM Preaching Advice
polishpreacher Offline
Outdoorsman

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 86
Loc: Fredericksburg, Texas
The young priest was so afraid at his first mass that he could hardly speak . . .
Before his second week in the pulpit, he asked the monsignor, "How can I relax?"

The monsignor, a veteran of his work, said, "My son, this Sunday it might help if you put a martini in the water pitcher instead of water. After a few sips, everything should go smoothly." Sunday came and the young priest did as the monsignor suggested. He believed everything went very well.

After the sermon, the young priest asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "Just fine, except you should remember the following before addressing the congregation again:

Next time, sip the martini rather than gulping it down.
There are 10 Commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
David 'slew' Goliath, he didn't 'kick the [censored] out of him.'
We don't refer to the Cross as the 'Big T.'
We don't refer to our Savior Jesus Christ and his Disciples as 'J.C. and the boys.'
We don't refer to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as the 'Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.'
Next Sunday, there is a taffy-pulling contest at Saint Peters, not a 'peter-pulling contest at Saint Taffy's.'
The idea of a drive-in confessional is excellent, but the sign, 'Toot-n-Tell or Go to Hell' has to go.
Last, but not least, we say The Virgin Mary, not the 'Mary with the Cherry.'"

Top
#6342006 - 06/20/16 03:53 PM Re: Preaching Advice [Re: polishpreacher]
Cast Online   happy
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 16326
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
peep
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

Top
#6342168 - 06/20/16 06:33 PM Re: Preaching Advice [Re: polishpreacher]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2820
Loc: Houston, Texas
lol35

Top
#6342619 - 06/21/16 08:07 AM Re: Preaching Advice [Re: polishpreacher]
CCBIRDDOGMAN Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 10107
Loc: CEDAR CREEK LAKE
roflmao
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Haven't had it in years but never spit any out.

Top
#6343497 - 06/21/16 09:35 PM Re: Preaching Advice [Re: polishpreacher]
texasag93 Online   content


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 4478
Loc: Argyle
eek2

Top
#6343899 - 06/22/16 11:10 AM Re: Preaching Advice [Re: polishpreacher]
TXHOGSLAYER Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13385
Loc: Katy, TX
clap

Top
#6344095 - 06/22/16 03:07 PM Re: Preaching Advice [Re: polishpreacher]
sleepyhunter Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 09/04/13
Posts: 363
Loc: Burleson TX
clap roflmao partyon555
_________________________




Broke from buying guns, bows and fishing tackle and wouldn't have it any other way.

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide