Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
TravisB, OkieHunts.com, Dtech, seant8, Goldensammy
61431 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 80273
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44013
BOBO the Clown 41737
BMD 40584
Big Orn 37484
bill oxner 36198
txshntr 34182
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31063
facebook
Forum Stats
61431 Members
46 Forums
421379 Topics
5818032 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6341967 - 06/20/16 03:24 PM Baptizing a Bear
polishpreacher Offline
Outdoorsman

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 81
Loc: Fredericksburg, Texas
A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Top
#6342174 - 06/20/16 06:38 PM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2820
Loc: Houston, Texas
Ouch!...LOL!... roflmao

Top
#6343904 - 06/22/16 11:14 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
TXHOGSLAYER Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 12820
Loc: Katy, TX
Now that's a good one! clap roflmao
_________________________
Originally Posted By: clu
Always great when there is a happy ending!

Top
#6343926 - 06/22/16 11:38 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 15372
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
clap
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

Top
#6344439 - 06/22/16 08:33 PM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Texan0718 Offline


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 141
Loc: Texas
Hilarious

Top
#6345915 - 06/24/16 06:47 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Red Cloud Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/04/09
Posts: 1682
Loc: Weatherford, Texas
roflmaoMan I've got to share this one!
_________________________

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide