Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
GuyR, Ahornet55, Hunter307, Desmo, tripntx
60489 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 77570
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 43790
BOBO the Clown 41125
BMD 40539
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 33685
bill oxner 32686
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 30573
facebook
Forum Stats
60482 Members
45 Forums
476337 Topics
6248628 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6341967 - 06/20/16 03:24 PM Baptizing a Bear
polishpreacher Offline
Outdoorsman

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 79
Loc: Fredericksburg, Texas
A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Top
#6342174 - 06/20/16 06:38 PM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2792
Loc: Houston, Texas
Ouch!...LOL!... roflmao

Top
#6343904 - 06/22/16 11:14 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
TXHOGSLAYER Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 12057
Loc: Katy, TX
Now that's a good one! clap roflmao
_________________________
Originally Posted By: Cleric
I need some meat frown

Top
#6343926 - 06/22/16 11:38 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 14901
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
clap
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

Top
#6344439 - 06/22/16 08:33 PM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Texan0718 Offline


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 131
Loc: Texas
Hilarious

Top
#6345915 - 06/24/16 06:47 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Red Cloud Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/04/09
Posts: 1505
Loc: Weatherford, Texas
roflmaoMan I've got to share this one!
_________________________

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide