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#6341967 - 06/20/16 03:24 PM Baptizing a Bear
polishpreacher Offline

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 73
Loc: Fredericksburg, Texas
A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

#6342174 - 06/20/16 06:38 PM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2788
Loc: Houston, Texas
Ouch!...LOL!... roflmao

#6343904 - 06/22/16 11:14 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 11404
Loc: Katy, TX
Now that's a good one! clap roflmao

#6343926 - 06/22/16 11:38 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 14901
Loc: North Texas - God's Country

I have a short attention spa

#6344439 - 06/22/16 08:33 PM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Texan0718 Offline

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 130
Loc: Texas

#6345915 - 06/24/16 06:47 AM Re: Baptizing a Bear [Re: polishpreacher]
Red Cloud Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/04/09
Posts: 1424
Loc: Weatherford, Texas
roflmaoMan I've got to share this one!


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