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#6315985 - 05/30/16 07:48 AM Mom's birthday joke
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 14901
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
Big sis and little bro fancy themselves as masters of ceremony yesterday, decided we should all thank mom for something she passed on to us. Just a simple honoring, ok. Couple of them went before me and the process stalled. They looked at big bro.

Most folks in the room know me. The LEO's and I are buddies. I stand up, they kinda groan, I walk to front, greet mom and them, and tell how she made me the second best cook in the entire world. I could go on but I could also tell a dirty joke. You know what they wanted. I started to but offered to tell mom and she could tell them. That worked out. I told mom.

A little old lady (see, topical) walks into a bar and sits on a barstool.

'I'll have a cold draft while I wait on Mildred, please. '

She sits and sips on her beer. After a bit, she starts to lean to the right. Bartender notices and gently steers her back upright.

She sips her beer and in a bit, starts to lean left a little. Bartender again notices and lovingly corrects her to upright.

She sips her beer and the door opens revealing her friend Mildred has arrived. She sits down beside the little old lady and orders a cold draft.

'We've never met here before,' Mildred said, 'How is it?' While looking around the establishment.

After a pause, the little old lady says, 'Well, it's not bad. The draft is good and cold.' And the little old lady leaned over to Mildred and whispered in her ear, 'but they won't let you poot!'

Mom cracked up. That joke will make the rounds.

I have a short attention spa

#6316022 - 05/30/16 08:30 AM Re: Mom's birthday joke [Re: Cast]
bill oxner Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 11/03/09
Posts: 31873
Loc: Richmond
Check your in box. I'll send you a better one.
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill

#6316053 - 05/30/16 09:11 AM Re: Mom's birthday joke [Re: Cast]
Superduty Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 10584
Loc: Arlington, Texas
Good one Cast!


#6316056 - 05/30/16 09:14 AM Re: Mom's birthday joke [Re: Superduty]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 19168
Loc: Fairfield, TX
Originally Posted By: Superduty
Good one Cast!

Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

#6317730 - 05/31/16 05:34 PM Re: Mom's birthday joke [Re: Cast]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2788
Loc: Houston, Texas
Good one!...LOL!... cheers

#6319220 - 06/01/16 08:56 PM Re: Mom's birthday joke [Re: Cast]
300j Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 12/07/11
Posts: 1217
Loc: D/FW
All ready

#6320967 - 06/02/16 11:51 PM Re: Mom's birthday joke [Re: Cast]
Deadend Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 1937
Loc: Mineola,TX


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