Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
ScentBlaster, hutch6464, tailchaser93, mc2841, Bige18675
61688 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 80977
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44065
BOBO the Clown 41972
BMD 40612
bill oxner 37504
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 34253
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31156
facebook
Forum Stats
61688 Members
46 Forums
425484 Topics
5871719 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#6271582 - 04/22/16 02:45 PM Grandpa gets audited by IRS
Cast Online   happy
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 15813
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

Top
#6271591 - 04/22/16 02:54 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
TEXASLEFTY Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 10/26/07
Posts: 7602
Loc: The Island Cres
Lol

Top
#6271594 - 04/22/16 02:57 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
bill oxner Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 11/03/09
Posts: 37504
Loc: Richmond
Columbus kicked an Indian in the butt for telling that one.
_________________________
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill




Top
#6271595 - 04/22/16 02:57 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
snoopy Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 03/22/12
Posts: 5318
Good one!

Top
#6271596 - 04/22/16 02:57 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
dogcatcher Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 80977
Loc: Abilene or on the road...
clap
_________________________
Combat Infantryman, the ultimate hunter where the prey shoots back.
"Illegitimus non carborundum est"

_______ Old style calls for today's outdoorsman_________

Top
#6271647 - 04/22/16 03:33 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
pegasaurus Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 07/19/08
Posts: 14546
Loc: South Denton County
rofl
_________________________
Originally Posted By: therancher
My meat is good for you and worth the price...

Top
#6271850 - 04/22/16 06:00 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2820
Loc: Houston, Texas
roflmao

Top
#6280697 - 04/29/16 06:16 PM Re: Grandpa gets audited by IRS [Re: Cast]
nak Offline
Tracker

Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 905
Loc: DFW
Great one!
_________________________
NRA Lifer / Member TSRA

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide