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Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
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#6262785 - 04/16/16 01:59 PM Got A Good Old Joke?
BayouGuy Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 1503
Loc: S.E. Louisiana
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, give me a call. I'll gladly laugh at you.

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#6262811 - 04/16/16 02:39 PM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
okie44 Online   content
Tracker

Registered: 04/11/11
Posts: 728
Loc: Midland TX.
A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday's, I go fishing!
_________________________
“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”
Mark Twain

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#6262813 - 04/16/16 02:42 PM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
okie44 Online   content
Tracker

Registered: 04/11/11
Posts: 728
Loc: Midland TX.
Two Cajuns

One afternoon two cajun's over in a South Louisiana trailer park were sittin' around talkin' over a cold beer after gettin' off work at the local crawfish plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his haid, and squinted his eyes thinkin' real hard about the question. Finally, he says,"Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even."
_________________________
“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”
Mark Twain

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#6262885 - 04/16/16 03:58 PM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2820
Loc: Houston, Texas
Two good ones right there!...LOL!... roflmao

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#6262986 - 04/16/16 05:22 PM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 16319
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
Ok.

A guy asked his buddy to hold the reverend after church for at least an hour so he could 'visit' the rev's wife. Well, he felt a bit guilty but agreed to do it. After church he asked and of course the rev agreed to hang out for a while. So, at about 45 minutes in the buddy cracks and tells the rev what's going down, and advises him to hurry home. The rev smiles and says son you should hurry home. My wife died two years ago.
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

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#6263869 - 04/17/16 11:27 AM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 27638
Loc: Fairfield, TX
Cajuns....... trout
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

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#6264079 - 04/17/16 02:37 PM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
Cajun Raider Offline
Tracker

Registered: 07/23/11
Posts: 599
Loc: Texas
banana
_________________________
Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.

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#6268056 - 04/20/16 09:14 AM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
redfred Offline


Registered: 04/18/09
Posts: 1380
Loc: La Porte
An old guy went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asked him all sorts of medical questions, including about his digestive system.
The doctor asked, "Do you have regular bowel movements?" The old guy answered, "Yep. every morning right at 7AM, I pretty well empty out everything I've eaten the day before".
"That's great" said the doctor.
"Well, good and bad" the patient said. "It's good during the week, when I wake up at 6AM, but on weekends I sleep in until 8AM!"
_________________________
Alcohol,Tobacco, and Firearms. Should not be a government bureau. Should be a department store.

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#6268215 - 04/20/16 10:34 AM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
Palehorse Online   content
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 10/22/07
Posts: 4527
Loc: Surfside Beach, TX
A circus comes through a town and a baby elephant escapes. It walks over to an old woman's garden and starts eating cabbages. The old woman who can't see very well sees this and calls the sheriff. She says, "Sheriff, there is a cow in my garden and it's picking all my cabbages with it's tail!" The sheriff asks, "What is the cow doing with the cabbages after it picks them?" She says, "Sheriff, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
_________________________
“He grouped his last five shots right in the center of the bull’s-eye. Then I showed him my technique of scattering shots randomly around the target because, as I explained, you never know which way the deer might jump just as you pull the trigger.”

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#6268891 - 04/20/16 05:37 PM Re: Got A Good Old Joke? [Re: BayouGuy]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2820
Loc: Houston, Texas
Keep 'em going! clap

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