THE AFTER EASTER EGG DILEMMA BY JERRY HART...MONDAY MORNING I AWOKE TO 3 DOZEN BOILED EGGS,HMMM...WHAT TO DO? So Monday night I scarfed down 7 of them bad boys, forgetting the horror that comes with them. At 4am, they hit, the gut wrenching pain you know is going to blow you intestinal tract, I get up, I almost fall flat of my face running to the bathroom, then BOOM, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD ,SOMETHING FOUL SMELLING RESIDES IN MY BOWELS, THE SMELL WOULD KNOCK A BUZZARD OF A turd WAGON.....RELIEF OR SO I THOUGHT....I GO BACK TO BED GET UP AT 530, WALK INTO THE BATHROOM, I CUT A LITTLE FART...OMG, IT'S ALIVE FEBREEZE AND GLADE RUN FROM THE SMELL...I CLOSE THE DOOR. ONE HOUR LATER MY BOYS GET UP AND OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR, IT ATTACKS THEM WITHOUT MERCY, THEY RUN SCREAMING TO MOMMY, WE'RE NOT GOING IN THERE. WE'LL I OPEN THE window to let the beast escape, calm returns to my household, or I thought so. I STAY AWAY FROM THEM TIME BOMBS,NOT WANTING TO KILL THEM. THE DAY GOES ON AS NORMAL, THEN NIGHTTIME CONES, STOMACH FEELING GOOD, I HAVE DREAMS OF A PEACEFUL SLEEP. OH HELL NO, THE BEAST FROM WITHIN ATTACKS AT 430 AM, WITH A DOUBLE OVER GUT WRENCHING PAIN, BUT I THINK EVERYONE IS ASLEEP, I LET OUT THE THING FROM WITHIN THE DEPTHS OF MY BOWELS AS A FART. IMMEDIATELY THE COVERS BLOW AWAY, THE SMELL HITS ME, I DIE OUT LAUGHING, MY WIFE TRIES TO STOP MY INSIDIOUS LAUGHTER, THEN SHE SMELLS iT!!!!. Have you ever seen a full grown women crawl into a 6 inch crack between the wall and the bed. I WAS AMAZED AND STILL . LAUGHING. I RAN OUTSIDE I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD IN MY UNDERWEAR. I COME BACK 10 MINUS LATER, SMILING AT MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS. ...MORAL OF STORY....THEM DAMN EGGS ARE DANGEROUS. ..HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH, I DID
avid deer hunter that is disable but God has still blessed me.