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#6125148 - 01/08/16 06:27 AM Simple Truths and Rules
Gravytrain Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/06/11
Posts: 16949
Loc: Rowlett, Tx
The following Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life seem to be valid.


SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.


SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

When a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".

But, none of her friends comes up to the man - touches his penis and say, "Good job.”

Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated



FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the a-hole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.


BONUS RULE:

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

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#6125408 - 01/08/16 09:06 AM Re: Simple Truths and Rules [Re: Gravytrain]
SnakeWrangler Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 20927
Loc: Fairfield, TX
cheers
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

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#6125825 - 01/08/16 01:13 PM Re: Simple Truths and Rules [Re: Gravytrain]
rdmac Offline
Woodsman

Registered: 06/30/15
Posts: 123
Loc: Maypearl TX
Greatness!
_________________________
GOD, FAMILY, HUNTING

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#6129376 - 01/10/16 06:51 PM Re: Simple Truths and Rules [Re: Gravytrain]
tex70 Offline
Tracker

Registered: 11/13/14
Posts: 757
Loc: Georgetown
clap

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#6130314 - 01/11/16 11:01 AM Re: Simple Truths and Rules [Re: Gravytrain]
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 14901
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
Yep
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

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#6131256 - 01/11/16 07:22 PM Re: Simple Truths and Rules [Re: Gravytrain]
Simple Searcher Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 4153
Loc: Helotes, Hext
clap
_________________________

"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark

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