There was a young engineer from Germany whose name was Schnell. The word means "fast" in English, and he had dreams of being a race car driver. But he never had a very fast car, and the other racers called him "Snail", which he hated.
So he decided to design and build his own car from the ground up. He worked on the design for years, and finally produced a sleek, powerful car that he knew would compete. He was so proud that he painted a large letter "S" (for Schnell) on the doors, so everybody would know it was him. He was convinced that if the car worked as well as he thought, they would never call him "Snail" again.
He took it to the track, and after a few laps, was setting a new track record. He was so proud until he heard the track announcer say, "Look at that S car go!", and he ran into a tree.
Alcohol,Tobacco, and Firearms. Should not be a government bureau. Should be a department store.