Double Naught Spy authored the following in memory of our hunt. Imagine it being told by medieval court minstrel.
The Ballad of Stupid Chad
Part 1 - The Great Badger Hunt
Three amigos, a hunting they did go
Alex, Brian, and Stupid Chad, don't you know
For hogs, varmints, and critters of the dark
In fields and orchards that were just like a park
Driving through the night, Alex did say
Of the animals of the night that would come out to play
There were coons and coyotes, foxes and boar
Then he told us one we could not ignore
It was the elusive badger, the landowner's foe
A price on its head, he would pay big dough
Rare to see and harder to spot
Nobody was expecting, to get a shot
Around the corner, Brian caught sight
A flat running critter, that didn't look right
The critter was ID'd, by Stupid Chad
Alex said "Shoot" and we were glad
50 yards and running as badgers do
It would be a tough shot, Stupid Chad knew
He set up to make the perfect shot
All of us watching, that tiny dot.
Over the shot, he did mull
Now was the time for the trigger pull
Out in the open and nowhere to hide
The badger was a goner, but the shot was wide
The badger was running, 70 yards and faster
Came the second shot from his trusty blaster
Now the badger was well into the rye
But the next bullet found nothing, nothing but sky
Shot number three wasn't any slicker
And from 90 yards, came badger snicker
As we started to lose sight of its mullet
Stupid Chad missed, with the very last bullet
Dejected and sad, we drove away
Vengeance was vowed for some other day
So ends Part 1, and it is sad
But this is the Ballad of Stupid Chad
Part 2 - Pecan Grove Nut Hunter
Through the rain and the fog, snow and the ice
We saw many critters, but mostly mice
The a hog was spotted, over by a tree
It was a boar, Stupid Chad could see
The tree was pecan, inside of the grove
We were close enough, we no longer drove
The wind was bad and we had to go
We circled around, to and fro
We made a good stalk, we did it well
With Alex leading, there was no smell
With rifles and sticks, we lined up for the shot
Then to the right, it started to trot
I was on the left, my shot was screwed
Was it a smart hog, or just rude?
I heard the count, standing in the back
I wait for the shot, I waited for the thwack
I didn't wait long, only for a bit
Two shots fired, two shots hit
The shots were good, not in the guts
One in the head, one in the nuts
The shot to the head, from Alex's gun
A perfectly good shot, but not much fun
As we waited for the truck in which to tote him
Stupid Chad boasted of shooting the scrotum
Anybody can shoot, the great big head
An easy shot, and the hog is dead
But to make a shot on a boar that hauls
It takes great skill, to hit his balls
So argued the man, with the golden gift
Of leaving the hog with a scrotal rift
So ends Part 2, and it is sad
But this is the Ballad of Stupid Chad
Part 3 - Safety
The first boar came in at 175
So into the night we continued to drive
Through the rain and the sleet, ice and snow
Waiting to have another boar show
Going by the rye, with a sudden rush
A boar did come, out of the brush
Out of position, I wasn't ready
Alex was out, getting steady
Just enough time, backup was had
To Alex's rescue, came Stupid Chad
The boar was coming closer, he was coming quick
Stupid Chad and Alex would do the trick
A shot rang out, there was the thud
Alex shot true, Stupid Chad - a dud
The trigger he pulled, more than twice
But the safety was on, the shot was scheiss
Tried as he could, with all his might
Bested by Murphy, again that night
So ends Part 3, and it is sad
But this is the Ballad of Stupid Chad