From what you have said I'd have a hard time trusting him around me with a firearm.
Find another lease.

I have a friend that has a son like that. While I appreciate it is difficult for them, I let them know that if the son is unable to correctly age a deer, he cannot hunt alone. I do not care if it is an adult, they do not hunt alone if they cannot correctly age a deer. They get 1 chance to make a mistake, the second time that happens, they lose the privilege of hunting alone.... i.e. I had a woman that shot a nubbin buck. That happens. I made the comment that if the deer is smaller than the grass surrounding it, then the mistake should not happen. The next time it happens, she will not be able to hunt without someone there. Will it make her mad? probably.. but remember, this is YOUR de-stress time also.

Yes, it sucks to have a child that is challenged, but you are not the one with the child. While being kind and letting them.

I had to tell a couple at the ranch this week that they are my guests. The son is not. Kids eat free and they are not catered to. At some point you will end up ruining you own good times if you do not nip it in the bud.

R

I have to disagree with asperger thought. He may be in the scale but generally its sign is an inability to read non verbal communication especially of emotional feelings.

He sounds lazy

Follow your instincts and treat the 20 year old man as an equal. Ask yourself 'What would I do if it was Cast annoying me so very badly?' Then do that. Good luck man!

Been there done that similar situation - If it's an option, this is how I'd approach the dad - "Bottom line - kid is 'not ready' to be a guest@ the lease (regardless of the 'particulars') THIS year - we'll try again next year". Then you can go into details as to why . . .

He's not a kid he's a man and I'd deal with him just like I'd deal with any other man...I wouldn't mince words and I'd tell him what the expectations are if he's going to ride with me...and I'd also explain what they are around the camp. This young man needs someone to mentor him and set appropriate expectations. Perhaps if you did he'd choose not to come to the lease with his Dad. Oh, and I'd do this away from his Dad.

I wonder, did the Dad spare the rod? And therefore spoil the child? Sounds like it to me.

Frankly, I think you'd be wasting your time talking to Dad cuz he's allowing him to behave this way and doesn't correct him.

Terrible situation to be involved in, but it cannot continue. If you go thru the season dealing with this, you will probably lose the friendship you have not to mention the miserable time you will have at the lease. Easy way is to not hunt at the same time. More difficult is to not delay the conversation you have to have with the father and his son. The problem must be brought out in the open if you are to continue to hunt together.
I would be interested to know the outcome as I have a similar but not as bad situation on our lease.

I would distance myself from being involved with managing his son.

I would just be honest with your friend and tell him life is too short to be uncomfortable at your hunting lease. That you would appreciate him managing his sons needs and not ask you to participate. Honesty is the best way to approach this with his dad.

If he's truly your friend and a christian, he should respect your request and not hold a grudge. Helping look for a wounded deer, sure. But not babysitting a grown man that obviously has issues.

X's 2

Lease time is too valuable to be stressed while there. I would advise you to avoid going when they were there. At some point your "friend" will ask why and you can politely tell him you have difficulty dealing with the behavior of his son and were avoiding conflict. Then the ball is in his court.

I wouldn't follow that advice. I would be straight up with the dad and then hunt. I wouldn't associate with them in camp and sure wouldn't provide rides. I would treat them like any hunter on a lease I didn't see eye to eye with. They do their thing, I do mine.

But I don't mine hunting on my own.

His son has some type of syndrome or mental illness that's not possible or fair to diagnose based on hearsay. The whole going blank thing at the gate is an example. Such a person can be held accountable for things but a lot is not his fault. He may not be able to realize or understand certain things that for you and I would be obvious.

You just have to decide whether you want to continue to hunt with that family. That kid is not going to change or become healed for the most part.

A beating would not help. Like whipping a retarded person for being a slow learner. Talk to the dad if you want. Be prepared. Find out if the kid has ever been diagnosed with anything.

Agree 100%. My brain knows that. My temper doesn't. That is what's frustrating as all hell.

1. as others have said REAL FRIENDS tell the truth to each other and accept that ESPECIALLY when it is not what they want to hear

2. you first off need to ask the dad if the kid ACTUALLY HAS ANY ISSUES and has been checked, placed under any type of treatment ect and if not there is an answer right there.....get him checked and if there is an issue work with that.....if no issue put the boots on and get to kicking

3. tell the father straight up as others have said that life is too short to be stressed at deer camp and with weapons around period the end

either dad can coordinate with you to not have the kid there when you are doing serious hunting (maybe only bring the kid if you are there when it is not "hunting" time for you and instead "work time")

if the dad needs some stress free time it sounds like Jr is what the dad needs time AWAY FROM.....tell dad to bump up the home owners insurance and leave Jr at home many weekends and if he burns the place down well he burns the place down he would have caught the lease bunk house and the surrounding land on fire anyway might as well keep it at home instead of at the lease (tell dad to get a safe deposit box and a fire proof safe as well)

if he has a party and all Jrs friends put their kools out on dads floor well he would have gotten drunk and wrecked a truck into the lease bunkhouse anyway

4. the "stuck" deer is the perfect "in"......it sounds as though the story was made up and the idiot kid was just telling stories and did not realize dad would want everyone to look for the deer

BUT the best idea is to pretend as though you believe that story and let dad know that you like this lease a lot and are not looking to move leases especially because the landowner (and the landowners wife) keep seeing deer running around with arrows sticking out of their butts and kicks you off the lease

make THAT the center of the start of the issue.....poor hunting and bad hunting etiquette is poor hunting and bad hunting etiquette even from someone that IS mentally challenged and all the more so from someone that is not

5. drop a box of matches in front of the kid or fan out some playing cards and based on his reaction perhaps take him to Vegas......do not let him drive he is NOT an excellent driver

Like others have said I would distance myself from having any responsibility for the son.

To me there is a bigger issue I have not seen addressed. As ticked as you are, you are a friend. Imagine how everyone else who don't really know them feels about chasing a stuck deer, no thanks from the kid, getting shoved out of the chow line, and any offenses that seem likely to occur in the future. The other members may take care of the problem for you. I would not want to be seen as part of the problem, which is why a bit of separation while at the lease can be a good thing. When the other members push to correct the situation, which is likely to happen eventually, don't put yourself in the line of fire.

Could end up with guest privileges being cut back to exclude him, or they could be asked to leave. If you like the place, try not to get the boot along with them. If this really is that apparent it will fester until it gets taken care of in some manner. Talk to your friend, explain that you value your lease time and can't be responsible for the son, and hope the friendship/church relationship survives whatever happens. This does not mean you can't try to help the young man out and make an effort to teach him some hunting ethics and social skills, but not fair for you to get dumped on. Should not ruin your lease experience.

Those can be really difficult for people with certain syndromes to learn and/or understand. Not saying that's what is going on here but it is nonetheless a fact.

That's why I lease places by myself. No hassle, no issues, no fighting over who's spot is who's or who this deer belongs to or you shouldn't shoot this or that blah blah... if you go in on a lease with folks, by God you better be ready and able to deal with issue after issue.

I've read through this post, and all great comments by everyone, my concern outside of all the others folks have posted, does this kid (Man) really have the mentality of a 13 yr old? In my opinion, i could see this as a safety issue for him and all others on the lease, if this kid truly has a learning disability, is it safe for him to be hunting alone? I'm not there and have no idea how this young man acts, but it seems to me that there is something mentally wrong with this young man. I would ask his father, does he have some type of syndrome, and go from there, if he in fact does have something wrong, i would then press the issue of him hunting alone, if it comes down to the point that the young man is no longer allowed to hunt alone, it may limit the number of times his fathers brings him to the lease in the future.

Either way, this is a tough situation for you all the way around.

Good luck and i hope it all works out in your favor.

First Question: Is he a paid gun on the lease?
Second: If he is not, what does your lease say about "guest"?

Some leases may allow a minor child to hunt with a parent, but their harvest would count against the adults allowable animals. No way a 20 year old qualifies for that.

If he is not on the lease, the your best approach is probably to talk to your friend about it from that standpoint.

I suggest informing the father that you are unable to deal with his son. It does not make you a bad christian to be honest. And it does not mean that you don't have love for this person. It just means that the dynamics are not working out. If you want to keep your friendship, it may be best to move on. I have found that the more people on a lease, and the more liberal the rules are, there is more potential for conflict.

I disagree. We are too quick to point to a 'syndrome' when what we have is a spoiled child acting badly. This man child needs to grow the hell up and we need to stop making excuses for him. The real issue here is the enablers surrounding him.

'Pretty sure it's a little of both guys. 5 minutes around this young man and it's obvious there's something way beyond just spoiled. Lots of different clues and possibilities from the family of several different conditions the kid could have been born with that I'd rather not go into on a public forum. I'm sure you can surmise what they might be.

I do appreciate all the opinions. And you can be sure, I've paid way too much dinero for this place for me to be a chauffer/chaperone and I don't do enabling. Just because I didn't kick this kid's tail, lose a friendship, and make opening weekend the beginning of a miserable first and last season doesn't mean I'm gonna coddle the young man. I've already spoken with one of the other lease members about it.

And, as many have brought up on this thread, there is a safety concern. I am glad the kid only wants to hunt with a bow. But everything, including the stowing of trailer ramps I discovered when I got home, must be double checked that the kid has touched and that is in itself tiresome, but if not done, can create a dangerous situation.

If he comes with his dad at mule deer season, I'm sure the situation will come up again and I will deal with it as tactfully as I can. I already made it clear around the campfire that, come mule deer season, I will be focused on one thing: a mule deer buck, and that I will not be driving him around. The dad, my friend, also has a bit of a "natural born leader" attitude, tries to delegate to everyone, etc. And this kid worships his dad, so some of it is a result of just mimicking I think.

Headed out there tomorrow with me, myself, and I. No deer lease is perfect, so I'm gonna try to enjoy the heck out of this place.

I think you got this. Enjoy the lease.