Main Menu
Newest Members
Jep777, Bar H Hunting, Bigrivertaxidermy, Jr's_Dad, Johnny Rocket
61414 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 80246
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44005
BOBO the Clown 41707
BMD 40584
Big Orn 37484
bill oxner 36131
txshntr 34170
sig226fan ( 31063
Forum Stats
61414 Members
46 Forums
421150 Topics
5814983 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#5939410 - 09/21/15 03:29 PM The lawyer vs the farmer
Cast Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 15345
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
It's probably a repost, but worth another go...

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural northern Minnesota. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence to claim his bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New England and, if you don't let me retrieve that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here in northern Minnesota. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and, being the person he was, decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

I have a short attention spa

#5939414 - 09/21/15 03:33 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
redchevy Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 24628
Loc: Texas
If only life worked that way... the attorneys probably feel differently though grin
It's hell eatin em live

#5939470 - 09/21/15 04:21 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
powerstroke96 Offline

Registered: 05/23/15
Posts: 208
Loc: Dallas
Showed that big wig
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

#5939735 - 09/21/15 06:59 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
txmudder Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 03/25/10
Posts: 2070
Loc: Irving, Texas USA
That's funny. Gonna have to remember this one.

#5939999 - 09/21/15 09:07 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
bassfishinglawyer Offline

Registered: 12/08/04
Posts: 847
I feel like I get kicked like that most weeks!

#5940970 - 09/22/15 12:33 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
DuckCoach1985 Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1414
Cut 'Em!!!

#5941040 - 09/22/15 01:19 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
NMGW Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1456
Loc: New Mexico
New Mexico: Not Really New, Not Really Mexico

#5941119 - 09/22/15 01:57 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
George - w/ Map My Ranch Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 10/09/12
Posts: 1873
Loc: Houston, Texas

"Keep your aim as true as your word" - GB

#5949693 - 09/27/15 09:09 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
coach20 Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 02/16/15
Posts: 288


© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide