Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
happydaddy2, AZbowhunter, Rangerrick82, zman13tx, ftworthian
62205 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 82289
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44214
BOBO the Clown 42366
BMD 40617
bill oxner 39285
Big Orn 37484
txshntr 34452
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31324
facebook
Forum Stats
62205 Members
46 Forums
432770 Topics
5962159 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#5939410 - 09/21/15 03:29 PM The lawyer vs the farmer
Cast Online   happy
THF Celebrity

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 16323
Loc: North Texas - God's Country
It's probably a repost, but worth another go...

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural northern Minnesota. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence to claim his bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New England and, if you don't let me retrieve that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here in northern Minnesota. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and, being the person he was, decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
_________________________
Cast



I have a short attention spa

Top
#5939414 - 09/21/15 03:33 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
redchevy Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 25753
Loc: Texas
If only life worked that way... the attorneys probably feel differently though grin
_________________________
It's hell eatin em live

Top
#5939470 - 09/21/15 04:21 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
powerstroke96 Offline
Woodsman

Registered: 05/23/15
Posts: 209
Loc: Dallas
Showed that big wig
_________________________
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Top
#5939735 - 09/21/15 06:59 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
txmudder Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 03/25/10
Posts: 2123
Loc: Irving, Texas USA
That's funny. Gonna have to remember this one.

Top
#5939999 - 09/21/15 09:07 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
bassfishinglawyer Online   content
Tracker

Registered: 12/08/04
Posts: 990
I feel like I get kicked like that most weeks!

Top
#5940970 - 09/22/15 12:33 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
DuckCoach1985 Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1415
Loc: SMTX
rofl

Top
#5941040 - 09/22/15 01:19 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
NMGW Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 1487
Loc: New Mexico
roflmao
_________________________
New Mexico: Not Really New, Not Really Mexico

Top
#5941119 - 09/22/15 01:57 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
George - w/ Map My Ranch Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 10/09/12
Posts: 1997
Loc: Houston, Texas
up
_________________________
george@mapmyranch.com
www.MapMyRanch.com

"Keep your aim as true as your word" - GB

Top
#5949693 - 09/27/15 09:09 PM Re: The lawyer vs the farmer [Re: Cast]
coach20 Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 02/16/15
Posts: 288
lol444

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide