Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
OakleyHatNGat, jeremy m., Richardb, MMHunter, Horseshoer22
61542 Registered Users
Top Posters
dogcatcher 80590
stxranchman 52092
RWH24 44568
rifleman 44029
BOBO the Clown 41821
BMD 40600
Big Orn 37484
bill oxner 36760
txshntr 34225
sig226fan (Rguns.com) 31088
facebook
Forum Stats
61542 Members
46 Forums
423156 Topics
5841616 Posts

Max Online: 16728 @ 03/25/12 08:51 AM
Topic Options
#5831750 - 07/14/15 02:04 PM Bad mugger...
SnakeWrangler Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 25543
Loc: Fairfield, TX
Got this years ago and just came across it...still funny....


AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
_________________________
Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

"Death is permanent...everything else is temporary!"

"You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"

Top
#5832551 - 07/14/15 11:16 PM Re: Bad mugger... [Re: SnakeWrangler]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2820
Loc: Houston, Texas
Now that would be true justice and funny as heck to boot.... lol35

Top
#5833200 - 07/15/15 03:10 PM Re: Bad mugger... [Re: SnakeWrangler]
PMK Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 09/10/12
Posts: 5677
Loc: Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
up
_________________________
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."

~PMK~

Top



© 2004-2016 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide