I called UPS about an insurance claim I had filed on a package. I knew
the automated voice response system wouldn't be able to handle this
issue so I immediately said, "customer service."

It did a little beep-boop-bop computing noise, and then insisted that I
first pick from its menu, none of which items bore any resemblance to
insurance claims. I tried "track a package." It recited the status,
followed by "Can I help you with anything else?" I said, more
insistently, "customer service," at which it complained that that was
the most recent shipping information.

Exasperated--but a bit curious--I said, "STUPID MACHINE," and after the
little computing noise, it swiftly transferred me to customer service.

I thought you were going to tell us about the blonde that died her hair a different color....LOL!