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#5741849 - 05/13/15 08:38 AM A Cowboy named Bud
sleepyhunter Online   content
Bird Dog

Registered: 09/04/13
Posts: 377
Loc: Burleson TX
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U..S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ....

Now give me back my dog.
_________________________




Broke from buying guns, bows and fishing tackle and wouldn't have it any other way.

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#5741999 - 05/13/15 10:17 AM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: sleepyhunter]
jdk1985 Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 12188
Loc: Waco, TX
nice

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#5742201 - 05/13/15 12:05 PM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: sleepyhunter]
JRJ6 Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 03/13/14
Posts: 4003
Loc: Dallas, TX
clap

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#5742449 - 05/13/15 03:06 PM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: sleepyhunter]
Beaubien Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 02/18/15
Posts: 473
Loc: In the mountains east of ABQ
Love it
_________________________


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#5744119 - 05/14/15 04:05 PM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: sleepyhunter]
elcasador Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 08/09/11
Posts: 1550
Loc: Lake Worth
clap

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#5744177 - 05/14/15 04:40 PM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: elcasador]
TXHOGSLAYER Online   content
goatboy

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 14865
Loc: Katy, TX
Originally Posted By: elcasador
clap
_________________________

Originally Posted By: bill oxner
Also, I wonder why you guys are arguing if you have not tried it both ways.

Originally Posted By: bill oxner
I got 3 inches.

Originally Posted By: nsmike
you haven't seen anything, until two gays go at it.

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#5746038 - 05/15/15 09:27 PM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: sleepyhunter]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2821
Loc: Houston, Texas
Must have been one of Obama's guys... texas

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#5749072 - 05/18/15 10:49 AM Re: A Cowboy named Bud [Re: sleepyhunter]
OffCoor1 Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 09/12/13
Posts: 338
Loc: Archer County
clap Bwaaaahaaahhhaaaa !!! That's a good one !!

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